SO GOOD QUOTES

Because our parents live inside us as part of our own psychic constitution, cutting them off would be something like trying to excise a liver or heart, a part of our body essential for life. “Cutting off” parents as a way of managing anxiety and pain may provide temporary relief, but as an attempt at a permanent solution it is bound to have deleterious effects on everyone: on the perpetrator of the abuse, who never gets confronted with the effects of his sin; on the victim, who not only remains in a victimized position vis–à–vis her parents, but is also seriously split (i.e., cut off from herself) insofar as she avoids facing the internalized representations of her parents; and also on the whole extended family, who are adversely affected by the taboos and secrets related to the abuse, even if they themselves have no direct knowledge of it.

Bearing the Unbearable: Trauma, Gospel, and Pastoral Care
Deborah van Deusen Hunsinger