No matter how just your words may be, you ruin everything when you speak with anger.
—St. John Chrysostom
Category: BEST OF
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If one says a word to you, you could accept the word calmly, or you could think about it deeply: Why did he say this? What did he mean? Did he mean to belittle me? I cannot keep quiet. Here you have allowed the word to affect you profoundly, and so it became deeply-rooted in you. Therefore, do not ponder daily events in depth; overlook them and allow them to pass by calmly. Only those thoughts which take root in your mind and heart will bother you.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Monastic Treasures for All of Us
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Humble yourself before God; that is, like the wise thief say from your whole heart: “I have received as I deserve according to my deeds. Remember me, O Lord, when Thou comest into Thy Kingdom.” Do not be like the other thief who railed at everyone, cursed, blamed others for his sufferings, and in this way only made his situation worse and perished.
—Abbot Nikon Vorobiev, Abbot Nikon Letters to Spiritual Children p.174 -
“If I’m mad at somebody, I’m probably just mad at myself.”
—Dave Chappelle, Equanimity & The Bird Revelation -
I was told of such an instance in St. Petersburg. There was some sort of meeting of young people who were advocates of universal welfare – this was at the very height of the progressive raving. One gentleman was making an impassioned speech about love for mankind and the people. Everyone was enraptured.
But when He returned home, his servant did not open the door quickly enough – he had not seen him coming. The servant did not give him a candle quickly enough, something had happened to his pipe, and it was a little cold in his room. Our philanthropist could not stand this, and finally he sharply reprimanded his servant. The latter answered something back, and the former struck him in the chest. And so here is our fine fellow who was overflowing with love toward mankind in one place, who could not behave properly toward even one person at home.
Also at the very height of progressive raving, there were some pretty girls who threw themselves into the work of bookbinding establishments, who often left their mothers without a crust of bread. All the same, they imagined that they were in some way moving forward and establishing the happiness of mankind.
All troubles come from a mental outlook that is too broad. It is better to humbly cast your eyes down toward your feet, and to figure out which step to take where. This is the truest path.
—St. Theophan the Recluse, The Spiritual Life -
“Sometimes the annoyances that make you long for solitude are better for producing humility than the most complete solitude could be.”
—François Fénelon, The Seeking Heart
“In constant intercourse with other people we can sooner come to see our defects than we should in solitude.”
“The thing that annoys you about others is a reflection of you.”
—Maria Stenvinkel, 7 Things You Need to Know to Live Your Best Life and Make a Better World
“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.”
—Hermann Hesse
Remember that it is not he who reviles you or strikes you, who insults you, but it is your opinion about these things as being insulting. When then a man irritates you, you must know that it is your own opinion which has irritated you. Therefore especially try not to be carried away by the appearance. For if you once gain time and delay, you will more easily master yourself.
Epictetus, Enchiridion
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
—Carl Jung
“We often look out to other people – they’re difficult, they’re rude, they’re arrogant, they’re…I can’t deal with that person, look at how bad they are. – but turn it around, let it become a mirror. Is that, in fact, myself? Is it myself?”
—Fr. Daniel Fanous, Dealing with Difficult People
“When I’m quiet, everyone is happy at home. Why? Maybe I’m the one that is causing all the turmoil.”
—Fr. Paul Girguis
“Some of us at work, we’re very nice. At church, we’re loved by all. But the people in our house cringe when the garage door opens and they know we’re coming home.”
—Fr. Anthony Messeh
Correct yourself of your faults and hold fast to piety. Commit your conscience, your life, and deeds unto God, Who knows our hearts. However, look upon yourself impartially. Are you not indeed difficult in your character, especially to those of your household? Perhaps you are morose, unkind, unsociable, taciturn. Expand your heart for sociability and kindness, though not to over-indulgence and connivance; be gentle, not provoking, calm in reproof.
—St. John of Kronstadt, My Life in Christ -
I realized that a huge regret I felt with my mom was the complete disregard I’d had for her time. I came to visit when I felt like it, left when it was good for me, and flaked if I couldn’t “handle” her that day.
When a Wrong Can’t Be Righted: How to Deal With Regret
SO GOOD QUOTES 