“To grieve excessively over one’s sins and to become despondent is a sign not of humility, but of pride. We must feel contrition and regret for offending the Lord with our sins, ask His pardon and try not to repeat them.

— Abbot Nikon Vorobiev 

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“But do not be troubled or sad. The Lord sometimes allows people who are devoted to Him to fall into such dreadful vices; and this is in order to prevent them from falling into a still greater sin–pride. Your temptation will pass and you will spend the remaining days of your life in humility. Only do not forget your sin.”

— St. Seraphim of Sarov

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How could I fall into something like that? How could I hurt God’s loving heart? How could I disloyally betray God who has done me good all my life? How could I defile the heart that has been cleansed in baptism and which Christ cleansed by His Blood? How? How could I fall from the high tower in which I was? How could I, a son of God, live as the children of the world and as a defilement of the whole earth? How could I anger God’s heart? How could I grieve the Holy Spirit who dwells in me? How could I defile myself and make myself unclean? How? Indeed the sin has been forgiven, but how could I have done that?

—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Before the Just Judge

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It is wrong to regard as a virtue the excessive grief, which men feel after committing a sin, not realising that it is caused by pride and a high opinion of themselves, based on the fact that they rely too much on themselves and their own powers. For by thinking that they are something important they undertake too much, hoping to deal with it by themselves. When the experience of their downfall shows them how weak they are, they are astounded, like people, who meet with something unexpected, and they are cast into turmoil and grow faint-hearted. For they see, fallen and prone on the ground, that graven image which is themselves, upon which they put all their hopes and expectations. This does not happen to a humble man who trusts in God alone, expecting nothing good from himself. Therefore, when he falls into some transgression, he also feels the weight of it and grieves) but is not cast into turmoil and is not perplexed, for he knows that it happened through his own impotence, to experience which in downfalls is nothing unexpected or new to him.

—Lorenzo Scupoli, Unseen Warfare

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Sometimes we hear many people say the following statement: “I have confessed, and the priest read the absolution and said to me, ‘That is it, God is not upset with you,’ but I am not able to forgive myself.” The statement,

“I am not able to forgive myself,” means that the ideal self is pressuring the true self, saying to it,

“Even if God forgave you, I will not forgive you.” And so, the person is tormented because he cannot forgive himself. He cannot actually accept the gift of remission and forgiveness from the hand of God, because the ideal self says to the true self that it is not worthy of forgiveness and remission. And the struggle continues, because the ideal self continually attacks the true self. But if it [i.e. the ideal self] accepts it with its weakness and helplessness, then remission is offered it from the hand of Christ, and through the Holy Mysteries, on the basis of them being a healing and growth for the soul, so the true self grows from glory to glory, till it becomes conformed to the image of His Son.

—H.E. Metropolitan Youssef, How to Develop Your Personality

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When a man once truly repents, he needs to avoid thinking about the sins he committed, so that he will not sin again. St. Anthony counsels: “Be careful that your mind be not defiled with the remembrance of former sins-that the remembrance of those sins not be renewed in you.” He also says: “Do not establish your previously committed sins in your soul by thinking about them, so that they not be repeated in you. Be assured that they were forgiven you from the time that you gave yourself to God and to repentance. In that, do not doubt.” It is said of St. Ammon that he attained such perfection that, in his abundance of godliness, he no longer recognized that evil even existed. When they asked him what is that “narrow and difficult path,” he replied: “It is the restraining of one’s thoughts, and the severing of one’s desires, in order to fulfill the will of God.” Whoever restrains sinful thoughts does not think of his own sin or the sins of others, or of anything corruptible or earthly. The mind of such a man is continually in heaven, where there is no evil. Thus, sin gradually ceases to be in him-not even in his thoughts.

—The Prologue of Ohrid by Saint Nikolai Velimirovic

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If remembering your sins stops you from loving yourself, know that this is from Satan and not God. Because once you’ve repented and confessed, your sins are forgiven, and you’re as good as new, as we read in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new cre-ation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”

—Lilyan Andrews, Waiting & Dating