Recall the memory of hell and punishment and vengeance during the time of your prayer, and you will not be able even to receive your enemy into your mind. Make your mind contrite, humble your soul by the memory of the offences you committed, and wrath will not be able even to trouble you.
But the cause of all these evils is this: that we scrutinize the sins of all others with great exactitude, while we let our own pass with great remissness. Whereas we ought to do the contra-ry-to keep our own faults unforgotten, and never even to admit a thought of those of others. If we do this we shall have God propitious and shall cease cherishing immortal anger against our neighbors, and we shall never have anyone as an enemy.
—Saint John Chrysostom
HOMILY FIVE,On the power of prayer and forgiveness
Category: FORGIVENESS & REPENTANCE
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Considering all these things then, and counting the recompense which is given in this case and remembering that to wipe away sins does not entail much labor and zeal, let us pardon those who have wronged us. For that which others scarcely accomplish, I mean the blotting out of their own sins by means of fasting and lamentations and prayers and sackcloth and ash-es, this it is possible for us easily to effect without sackcloth and ashes and fasting if only we blot out anger from our heart, and with sincerity forgive those who have wronged us.
—Saint John Chrysostom
HOMILY FIVE, On the power of prayer and forgiveness -
For he who is angry on account of the things which have been done to him, and demands satisfaction would not be able to obtain the praise of forbearance; but when a man dismisses the consideration of all past evils, although they are many and painful, but is compelled to take steps for self-defense from fear of the future and by way of providing for his own security, no one would deprive him of the rewards of moderation.
Nevertheless, David did not act even thus, but found a novel and strange form of moral wisdom. And neither the remembrance of things past, nor the fear of things to come, nor the instigation of the captain, nor the solitude of the place, nor the facility for slaying, nor anything else incited him to kill; but he spared the man who was his enemy and had given him pain, just as if he was some benefactor and had done him much good. What kind of indulgence then shall we have if we are mindful of past transgressions and avenge ourselves on those who have given us pain, whereas that innocent man who had undergone such great sufferings and expected more and worse evils to befall him in consequence of saving his enemy, is seen to spare him, so as to prefer incurring danger himself and to live in fear and trembling, rather than put to a just death the man who would cause him endless troubles?
His moral wisdom then we may perceive, not only from the fact that he did not slay Saul when there was so strong a compulsion, but also that he did not utter an irreverent word against him, although he who was insulted would not have heard him. Yet we often speak evil of friends when they are absent, he on the contrary not even of the enemy who had done him such great wrong. His moral wisdom then we may perceive from these things, but his lovingkindness and tender care from what he did after these things. For when he had cut off the fringe of Saul’s garment and had taken away the bottle of water, he withdrew afar off and stood and shouted and exhibited these things to him whose life he had preserved, doing so not with a view to display and ostentation, but desiring to convince him by his deeds that he suspected him without a cause as his enemy, and aiming therefore at winning him into friendship. Nevertheless, when he had even thus failed to persuade him, and could have laid hands on him, he again chose rather to be an exile from his country and to sojourn in a strange land and suffer distress every day in procuring necessary food than to remain at home and vex his adversary. What spirit could be kinder than his? He was indeed justified in saying, “Lord remember David and all his meekness” (Ps. 131:1).
—Saint John Chrysostom, If Thine Enemy Hunger, Feed Him
Homilies on Profitable Subjects -
If someone says something harsh to you, pretend that you did not hear it and that he didn’t mean it. Take it with gentleness, laugh, turn it into something funny, don’t turn it into something serious. You can’t win people with absolute seriousness, you can’t… Christ the Lord endured all our sins.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda Ill -
For if you are reconciled here, you are delivered from judgment in the other world; but if in the interval while the hatred is still going on, death interrupting steps in and carries the enmity away with it, it follows of necessity that the trial of the case should be brought forward in the other world. Just as many men when they have a dispute with one another, if they come to a friendly understanding together outside the law court save themselves loss and alarm and many risks—the issue of the case turning out in accordance with the sentiment of each party—but if they severally entrust the affair to the judge the only result to them will be loss of money, and in many cases a penalty and the permanent endurance of their hatred; even so here if we come to terms during our present life we shall relieve ourselves from all punishment.
—Saint John Chrysostom, If Thine Enemy Hunger, Feed Him
Homilies on Profitable Subjects -
Sometimes the devil tries to make me feel I am my thoughts or my desires—”you have committed this sin and…” It’s not true.
—Fr. Mina Dimitri -
One of the saints said, “Those who come closest to Christ achieve the greatest victories.” What does that mean? It means that if you’re generous, and kind, you’re giving, you might overcome anger inside your heart, you might overcome resentment, hatred, lack of forgiveness inside your heart.
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He who has forgiven little, loves little. And he who has forgiven much, loves much. For love is born of forgiveness, and forgiveness is the remission of sins. Therefore, the more we forgive, the more we love; and the more we love, the more we are forgiven.
—St John Climacus -
What if God was like, “I forgive you, but I want nothing to do with you?” Is that how it works with us?
—Fr. Elijah Estafanous -
We make a lot of contradicting statements that do not logically make sense. “I love everybody, but I don’t want to talk to this person.”