SO GOOD QUOTES

Category: FORGIVENESS & REPENTANCE

  • Every bad behavior comes from an unmet need.

    —Fr. Paul Girguis

  • Sometimes our failure in dealing with certain people is due more to our ignorance of how to treat them, than to their personal faults.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Characteristics of the Spiritual Path

  • How many times have you suffered from severe tribulations and vowed before God that if He saves you, you will do such and such? Do you abide by the pledges which you vow before God during your affliction?

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Characteristics of the Spiritual Path

  • “Sometimes the annoyances that make you long for solitude are better for producing humility than the most complete solitude could be.”

    —François Fénelon, The Seeking Heart

    “In constant intercourse with other people we can sooner come to see our defects than we should in solitude.” 

    —Elder Macarius of Optina

    “The thing that annoys you about others is a reflection of you.” 

    —Maria Stenvinkel, 7 Things You Need to Know to Live Your Best Life and Make a Better World

    “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” 

    —Hermann Hesse

    Remember that it is not he who reviles you or strikes you, who insults you, but it is your opinion about these things as being insulting. When then a man irritates you, you must know that it is your own opinion which has irritated you.  Therefore especially try not to be carried away by the appearance.  For if you once gain time and delay, you will more easily master yourself.

    Epictetus, Enchiridion

    “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” 

    —Carl Jung

    “We often look out to other people – they’re difficult, they’re rude, they’re arrogant, they’re…I can’t deal with that person, look at how bad they are. – but turn it around, let it become a mirror. Is that, in fact, myself? Is it myself?”

    —Fr. Daniel Fanous, Dealing with Difficult People

    “When I’m quiet, everyone is happy at home. Why? Maybe I’m the one that is causing all the turmoil.” 

    —Fr. Paul Girguis

    “Some of us at work, we’re very nice.  At church, we’re loved by all.  But the people in our house cringe when the garage door opens and they know we’re coming home.”

    —Fr. Anthony Messeh

    Correct yourself of your faults and hold fast to piety. Commit your conscience, your life, and deeds unto God, Who knows our hearts. However, look upon yourself impartially. Are you not indeed difficult in your character, especially to those of your household? Perhaps you are morose, unkind, unsociable, taciturn. Expand your heart for sociability and kindness, though not to over-indulgence and connivance; be gentle, not provoking, calm in reproof.

    —St. John of Kronstadt, My Life in Christ

  • These angers are crippling, like a fit when they happen, and then, when they are over, haunting me with remorse. Those who know me well and love me have come to accept them as part of me; yet I know they are unacceptable.

    —May Sarton, Journal of a Solitude

  • And all we say is, “So-and-so has offended me straight through the heart; this cannot be forgiven!” How can we not forgive, when we are the same as they are? How many times have we offended our fellow men? 

    —Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica, Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives

  • Humility is, when the other person is at fault, for us to do a metanoia (prostration) to him and say, ‘Forgive me, my brother, I am sorry!’ before he has time to seek forgiveness. 

    —Saint Joseph the Hesychast

  • So, fathers, brothers, sisters: let us forgive one another. Let us not think about why. There is enough to think about. Let us do it. 

    —Fr. Alexander Schmemann

  • For the humble, the severity of the offense and the existence of an apology are extraneous factors in terms of one’s willingness to forgive. This new perspective on forgiveness offers freedom (a favorite theme of Dostoevsky) in that the one offended has the power to forgive in each and every circumstance and is not constrained by such factors as the severity of the offense or the presence of an apology. It is a freedom based on knowing who we are, what God has done for us, and what we desire to give Him in return. Always aware of the ten thousand talents that we owe God, always aware that He has forgiven us with His grace and loving kindness, always aware that all of us will stand together one day before our Maker, we come to understand what ultimately matters is not so much what was said to us or done to us, but our faithfulness to Christ’s love, our imitation of His forgiveness, and our humility before the weaknesses of others.

    —Fr. Alexis (Trader), Less Injustice or More Humility: Two Perspectives on Forgiveness

  • If the one who started the quarrel comes to his senses first and humbly asks his opponent for forgiveness, he will erase the guilt of his soul; and if the innocent remains irreconcilable in his pride, he will become even guiltier than the one who started the fight. It is good for the younger party to make the first step toward reconciliation, but if he does not have the sense to do so, nothing prevents the older or higher in rank to humble himself first.

    The Meaning of Suffering and Strife & Reconciliations
    Archimandrite Seraphim Aleksiev