Category: GOSSIP & SLANDER

  • For lack of wood the fire goes out,
    and where there is no whisperer,
    quarreling ceases.
    PROVERBS 26:20

    A brother asked a hermit, “Abba, if someone brings me gossip, should I ask him to stop speaking?”
    “No.”
    “Why?”
    “Because we also gossip. We would be asking someone else to do what we cannot do.”
    “Then what is the best thing to do?”
    “The best thing is to remain silent. Silence is better for us and for others as well.”

    By Way of the Desert: 365 Daily Readings
    Bernard Bangley

  • When you withdraw from the world your business is to talk with yourself, not to have men talk about you. But what shall you talk about? Do just what people are fond of doing when they talk about their neighbours,—speak ill of yourself when by yourself; then you will become accustomed both to speak and to hear the truth. Above all, however, ponder that which you come to feel is your greatest weakness.

    —Seneca, Letters from a Stoic

  • The signs (marks) of one who is making progress are these: he censures no man, he praises no man, he blames no man, he accuses no man, he says nothing about himself as if he were somebody or knew something; when he is impeded at all or hindered, he blames himself: if a man praises him, he ridicules the praiser to himself: if a man censures him, he makes no defense: he goes about like weak persons, being careful not to move any of the things which are placed, before they are firmly fixed: he removes all desire from himself, and he transfers aversion to those things only of the things within our power which are contrary to nature: he employs a moderate movement toward everything: whether he is considered foolish or ignorant, he cares not: and in a word he watches himself as if he were an enemy and lying in ambush.

    —Epictetus, Enchiridion

  • And remember that if you abide in the same principles, these men who first ridiculed will afterward admire you: but if you shall have been overpowered by them, you will bring on yourself double ridicule.

    —Epictetus, Enchiridion

  • Indeed, when we’re harmed by others, we feel sorrow, but not when we harm ourselves. God demonstrates that those unjustly harmed by others gain renown, while those who harm themselves receive injury. This distinction encourages us to endure external injustices courageously but avoid self-inflicted harm.

    —St. John Chrysostom

  • He looked at me in a reprimanding manner and whispered, “Mariam, do you know the circumstances of every person? I won’t reveal the secrets of this woman, but when you are targeted with a thought about something that does not concern you, tell yourself, ‘This is not my business; I should mind my own business.’”

    A Spring in Sinai: Hieromartyr Mina Abood: His Life, Miracles, and Martyrdom in Post-Revolution Egypt
    Anthony Marcos

  • Above all, he was described as never starting or partaking in a conversation that included speaking ill of a coworker; he was keen on never falling into gossip. Every coworker Saleeb dealt with felt that he became a personal friend to them. This allowed them to feel comfortable enough to open up to him and seek his advice regarding their personal issues.

    A Spring in Sinai: Hieromartyr Mina Abood: His Life, Miracles, and Martyrdom in Post-Revolution Egypt
    Anthony Marcos

  • Man’s feelings of alienation from the world causes him to avoid pressing himself into worldly matters, incidents, news, conversations, and upheavals. If any of these things reaches him, he does not interact with it or respond to it, but says to himself, “I am a stranger. What have I to do with this matter?”

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, The Life of Repentance and Purity

  • Many times, however, we forget ourselves and our spirituality. We hear a specific story, for example, or read about a certain incident, or enter into a discussion, and forget that both our heart and mind are for the Lord. We continue talking, commentating, discussing, giving opinions, and zealously reply to those who oppose us. The matter is not worthy of any of this attention. However, despite this it reigns not only on our tongues and in our thoughts, but also our nerves and affections. Here, the waters have entered into our souls. We then become concerned and distressed over many matters. However, we are not occupied with the person who is needed, but we think “when we have a convenient time we will call for him” (Acts 24.25). We return to our homes, the matter being still in our minds, and we pour it into the minds of others and occupy them with it as well.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, The Life of Repentance and Purity

  • Whoever repents, bearing his disgrace, accepts two types of punishment. The first type is the punishment he inflicts on himself, whether by bitter reprimand or by forbidding himself from things he loves, so that he renounces this world he previously loved. The second type is all of the punishments that come to him from the outside, whether from God or from other people. He accepts all of these punishments with satisfaction, without grumbling or complaining. He is convicted by them and feels that they are less than what he deserves.

    Even those punishments which afflict him unjustly he also accepts with satisfaction, like what happened to Saint Ephraim the Syrian. He was imprisoned once unjustly, so he accepted this and said that he deserved it for an old sin which had no relation to this matter.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, The Life of Repentance and Purity