Ama nesciri, says the Imitation of Christ. Love to be unknown. We are happy with ourselves and with the world only when we conform to this precept.
The Trouble With Being Born
Emil Cioran
Category: HUMILITY
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Whoever repents, bearing his disgrace, accepts two types of punishment. The first type is the punishment he inflicts on himself, whether by bitter reprimand or by forbidding himself from things he loves, so that he renounces this world he previously loved. The second type is all of the punishments that come to him from the outside, whether from God or from other people. He accepts all of these punishments with satisfaction, without grumbling or complaining. He is convicted by them and feels that they are less than what he deserves.
Even those punishments which afflict him unjustly he also accepts with satisfaction, like what happened to Saint Ephraim the Syrian. He was imprisoned once unjustly, so he accepted this and said that he deserved it for an old sin which had no relation to this matter.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, The Life of Repentance and Purity -
I am speaking of the selfishness of good people, devout people, those who have succeeded through spiritual exercises and self-denial in being able to make the proud profession before the altar of the Most High, “Lord, I am not like the rest of men.” Yes, we have had the audacity at certain times of our lives to believe we are different from other men. And here is the deepest form of self-deception, dictated by self-centeredness at its worst: spiritual egotism. This most insidious form of egotism even uses piety and prayer for its own gain.
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There is no limit to such self-deception. And the path, once entered upon, is so slippery that God has to treat us harshly to bring us back to our senses. But there is no other way of opening our eyes. It has to be painful. But often it isn’t enough. Disaster, illness, disappointment hover like birds of prey over the poor carcass that had the temerity to say, “Lord, I am not like the rest of men.” How can we possibly entertain the idea that we are different from other men, when we shout, cry, feel afraid, lack determination, and behave atrociously just like everybody else?
Letters from the Desert
by Carlo Carretto
