We should be careful not to provoke or embitter one another. Let us behave in a gentle, courteous manner, loving our neighbor and not criticizing or judging anyone. Criticism is the greatest and most terrible sin.
Category: LOVE
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One might say that another’s action will destroy the monastery. Yet, if the action is truly wrong, it will surely be revealed; you should not necessarily be the one who reveals it. It will be revealed on its own. If you place yourself as a watchdog over the actions of others, then, as the saying goes, you will have turned from a worshipper into a judge. Did you come to work as judges, or worshippers? Each one of us should say, “I will keep to myself. What business is it of mine? What brought me into all of these affairs?”
The wronged will be avenged by God, the peace of the monastery will be protected by God, those commissioned have their own responsibilities, and each of you should keep to yourself. If you keep to yourself, you will be respected by all, loved by all, and trusted by all, and if you do intervene on any given occasion, your word will have a positive impact.
—Pope Shenouda III, Monastic Treasures for All of Us
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He who reproaches himself is able to live in continual peace with others. Even if a misunderstanding were to arise, through his self-reproaching, reconciliation is easily attained. Strife worsens when each party persists in his own stand, each justifying himself that he is in the right, and the other in the wrong.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Before the Just Judge
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If God is the Father of every human, then there is no doubt that every man, whoever he may be, is my brother, and every woman or girl is my sister; consequently I behaved very foolishly if I treated some people as strangers, and did not find them deserving of even a glance or word , or considered them the kind of people to whom I do not owe any love. I acted very foolishly, and I must correct myself, otherwise I must not dare to pray using this Lord’s Prayer, and therefore, must not consider myself as belonging to the number of true children of the Father God.
—Metropolitan Gregory (Postnikov) of St. Petersburg
How to Live a Holy Life p.133 -
Love every man as yourself—that is, do not wish him anything that you would not wish for yourself; think, feel for him just as you would think and feel for your own self; do not wish to see in him anything that you do not wish to see in yourself; do not let your memory keep in it any evil caused to you by others, in the same way as you would wish that the evil done by yourself should be forgotten by others; do not intentionally imagine either in yourself or in another anything guilty or impure; believe others to be as well-intentioned as yourself, in general, if you do not see clearly that they are evilly disposed; do unto them as you would to yourself, or even do not do unto them as you would not do unto yourself, and then you will see what you will obtain in your heart—what peace, what blessedness!
—St. John of Kronstadt, My Life in Christ -
Setting yourself as the good example for the other person, is of the utmost importance. For what the other one needs is your example and silence and love… Nothing else… This is what experience has taught me, both for children and grown ups – particularly for the grown ups. If you happen to express an opinion, make a comment or pass judgement on whatever the other one believes or practices, you will be hitting straight at his Ego. And the Ego will not admit, even inwardly, that what you are saying is correct. The Ego does not want to be told anything by anyone else. Unfortunately this is so… Therefore, keep your silence. Do not say anything until you are asked for your opinion. The Lord has said it clearly: “Give to every man that asketh of thee”. On all matters… Are you asked for your opinion? Then give it. That is my experience. Love and silence: with these two I am so happy, so quiet, so peaceful… I cannot describe it adequately to you. It is Heaven on Earth. I wish for nothing else…
—Mother Gavrilia -
He talks about healing a wound, and does not stop irritating it. He complains of sickness, and does not stop eating what is harmful. He prays against it, and immediately goes and does it. And when he has done it, he is angry with himself; and the wretched man is not ashamed of his own words. “I am doing wrong,” he cries, and eagerly continues to do so. His mouth prays against his passion, and his body struggles for it. He philosophizes about death, but he behaves as if he were immortal. He groans over the separation of soul and body, but drowses along as if he were eternal. He talks of temperance and self-control, but he lives for gluttony. He reads about the judgment and begins to smile. He reads about vainglory, and is vainglorious while actually reading. He repeats what he has learned about vigil, and drops asleep on the spot. He praises prayer, but runs from it as from the plague. He blesses obedience, but he is the first to disobey. He praises detachment, but he is not ashamed to be spiteful and to fight for a rag. When angered he gets bitter, and he is angered again at his bitterness; and he does not feel that after one defeat he is suffering another. Having overeaten he repents, and a little later again gives way to it. He blesses silence, and praises it with a spate of words. He teaches meekness, and during the actual teaching frequently gets angry. Having woken from passion he sighs, and shaking his head, he again yields to passion. He condemns laughter, and lectures on mourning with a smile on his face. Before others he blames himself for being vainglorious, and in blaming himself is only angling for glory for himself. He looks people in the face with passion, and talks about chastity. While frequenting the world, he praises the solitary life, without realizing that he shames himself. He extols almsgivers, and reviles beggars. All the time he is his own accuser, and he does not want to come to his senses—I will not say cannot.
—St. John Climacus, The Ladder of Divine Ascent -
“Are you hungry or empty?”
—Jonice Webb PhD