I generally find it easier to explain something by what it isn’t. My wife and I have counseled a few couples before they got married, and while many of them want to talk about what marriage is, I usually start by talking about what it isn’t. And you know what one of the biggest things it isn’t? It isn’t about your happiness.
Let me say that again: Marriage isn’t about your happiness.
Now let me talk about what marriage is. It’s a lot of work. It’s about commitment. It’s about serving someone else. It’s about sacrifice and modeling the ultimate relationship.
—Jonathon M. Seidl, Seven things I’ve learned from seven years of marriage
Category: MARRIAGE
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“Some of the worst fights my wife and I have had over the past seven years have been when one of us knows we’re factually right and the other person is wrong. It’s then that we hold the tightest to our positions, bent on proving how wrong the other person is. It’s also, then, when we hurt the other person the most. You know the best way to diffuse that? Take responsibility.”
—Jonathon M. Seidl, Seven things I’ve learned from seven years of marriage -
“When you choose a wife for yourself, you should be for her not only a husband, but a father, a mother, and a brother, because she is leaving her family for the sake of being with you and following in your path. So give her to see in your the mercy of a father, the tenderness of a mother, and the friendship of a brother.”
—Empress Alexandra Feodorovna -
“The idea that there is one person out there who perfectly satisfies all your desires, needs, and passions is not only idiotic, but it’s dangerous. Instead, love is a choice.”
—Jonathon M. Seidl, The hardest part about my parents’ divorce -
“Love is not that butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling. I’m not sure what that feeling is (sure, I have experienced it with my wife), but it’s not deep love. Love is when you really, really want to watch the football game you’ve been looking forward to all week but your wife asks if you’ll go on a walk with her and you do. Love is knowing you’re right, but willing to concede the argument. Love is publicly supporting your spouse when you privately disagree. Love is sacrifice. As my pastor puts it, ‘Love says: I’ve seen the ugly parts of you, and I’m staying.’”
—Jonathon M. Seidl, The hardest part about my parents’ divorce -
“The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you’ll see their flaws. That’s just the way it is. This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don’t last. You might think you love someone until you see the way they act when they’re out of money or under pressure or hungry, for goodness’ sake. Love is something different. Love is choosing to serve someone and be with someone in spite of their filthy heart. Love is patient and kind, love is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is pain and sacrifice, it’s seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship.”
— love is deliberate. -
Elder Paisios points out that women tend to be pious by nature. But once a man becomes interested in his spirituality, not even his wife can keep up with him. Then the wife must be careful not to become envious of his progress. If she begins to complain about all his spiritual endeavors and calls him a monk or priest in protest, then the man needs to tread very carefully. The aim is to grow together, but you will not always be on the same step.
Spiritual Life of a Couple
Fr Dn Charles Joiner -
Above all, unmarried people, monks, or celibate priests, easily yield to the illusion that the source of their unhappiness is their unmarried state, their lack of truly human attachment. But does a married person in such a situation not experience exactly the same in his relationship to the wedded partner, or indeed to any person in his relationships with them? Deception and self-delusion have led many astray while the true character of their depression remains hidden. They do not understand that they are entangled in the most unusual struggle with themselves and that their opponent is neither “the institution,” nor “a vow,” nor the marriage partner or colleagues at work or whatever, but their own wounded “I.”
Despondency: The Spiritual Teaching of Evagrius of Pontus
Gabriel Bunge -
Kathleen Norris once said that married love is “eternal, but it’s also daily, about as daily and unromantic as housekeeping.” It is through daily practices and disciplines, whether we feel like doing them or not, that the decision to love is renewed and refreshed, and the commitment of love is kept alive.
Glittering Vices: A New Look at the Seven Deadly Sins and Their Remedies
Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung
SO GOOD QUOTES 