Category: MARRIAGE

  • “Living together alone is hell between consenting adults.”

    The Possibility of an Island
    Michel Houellebecq

  • “People are suspicious of single men on vacation, after they get to a certain age: they assume that they’re selfish, and probably a bit pervy. I can’t say they’re wrong.”

    Platform
    Michel Houellebecq

  • “Olga was nice, Olga was nice and loving, Olga loved him, he repeated to himself with a growing sadness as he also realised that nothing would ever happen between them again, life sometimes offers you a chance he thought, but when you are too cowardly or too indecisive to seize it life takes the cards away; there is a moment for doing things and entering a possible happiness, and this moment lasts a few days, a few weeks or even a few months, but it only happens once and one time only, and if you want to return to it later it’s quite simply impossible. There’s no more place for enthusiasm, belief and faith, and there remains just gentle resignation, a sad and reciprocal pity, the useless but correct sensation that something could have happened, that you just simply showed yourself unworthy of this gift you had been offered.”

    The Map and the Territory 
    Michel Houellebecq

  • Paul: Do you really think that getting married is going to make it all better?

    Do you have any idea of how many married people – how many parents – feel as empty as you do?

    Let me ask you, when was the last time you felt real happiness?

    Mia: A couple weeks ago when I thought that I was pregnant.

    Paul: And what about that made you feel good? 

    Mia: That it wasn’t just me, that my life had meaning. That there would be this – this other person, always.

    Paul: Have you ever considered that maybe it’s not about a child, Mia, or a husband?

    Maybe that’s just a picture in your head from – from your family, from your friends, from—from the culture?

    Not everyone needs that to live a full and contented life.

    Maybe what you really want, Mia, is to feel connected – authentically connected – to somebody or something else.

    In Treatment
    S2, EP 31: Mia – Week Seven

  • I know you are so focused on how attractive Hermione looks and your heart is in a flurry of excitement, but if you really think about what you are attracted to—a physical body that is just full of fluid, food, bile, spit, and other such things—you would hopefully realize what you admire is far less beautiful than one’s soul.

    ST. JOHN CHRYSOSTOM, ON REPENTANCE & DEFEATING DESPAIR
    Letters to Theodore

  • If the Christian married couple lived a spiritual life, the clause of divorce could be abolished completely from the personal statute. There would be no need for it, as the great love that joins the married couple together would never allow divorce. On the contrary, instead of separation, the relationship between them will deepen day after day…

    —Pope Shenouda III, Words of Spiritual Benefit Vol. 1

  • And to an age which despised chastity, and a public which had lost the sense of respect, he declared the grandeur of the Christian marriage, and the noble duties incumbent on both husband and wife. He frankly spoke of chastity and the sanctity of marriage without risking as much as a passing smile of disdain—for so effective were his teachings that he lifted his listeners to the heights he proclaimed, and taught with indefatigable patience and a radiant smile.

    THE STORY OF THE COPTS
    THE TRUE STORY OF THE CHRISTIANS OF EGYPT WHO HAVE LIVED THE BIBLE FOR 2,000 YEARS

    BY IRIS HABIB EL MASRI

  • Think about the troubles and anxieties of this life when it comes to a wife and children. [Instead of focusing solely on serving God], do you prefer all of these other distractions instead?Would you have me speak of the domestic cares of wife, and children and servant? It is an evil thing to wed a very poor wife, or a very rich one, for the former is injurious to the husband’s means, the latter to his authority and independence. It is a grievous thing to have children, still more grievous not to have any; for in the latter case marriage has been to no purpose, in the former a bitter bondage has to be undergone.

    ST. JOHN CHRYSOSTOM, ON REPENTANCE & DEFEATING DESPAIR
    Letters to Theodore

  • People who are not fully enlightened use romantic relationships to hide from the truth. They want to bypass the painful healing process and disappear into false pleasure and false security…They want someone to finally love them fully, understand them, take them under their wing, protect them, guide them, and be selfless with them. But this is impossible.

    Relationships: What Lies Underneath Them

  • Do those couples really love each other so much, or are they more just attracted to a fantasy of whom their partners are?  From what I’ve observed, when you scratch below the surface of such couples you find that they really DON’T know each other that well, and are just interacting – and being “in love” – with a fraction of their personalities.  And they want it that way!  If they knew each other too well it would shatter their illusion.  No surprise that as the increase in expectation of marriage partners being “best friends” – that is, more emotionally intimate – has gone hand-in-hand with the skyrocketing of the divorce rate.

    …

    1. Being in love is projecting that someone will rescue you; loving someone is nurturing and caring for the best in them
    2. 

Being in love comes from the false self, that still damaged side of us, and wants a false image of another to rescue us; loving someone comes from the true self, and nurtures the true self of another

    Being in Love is a Disturbed Ideal