From The Screwtape Letters—a fictional work written from a senior demon’s perspective, advising a junior tempter.
I suppose you’ve tried persuading him that chastity is unhealthy?
…for if we can’t use his sexuality to make him unchaste we must try to use it for the promotion of a desirable marriage.
The Screwtape Letters
C. S. Lewis
From The Screwtape Letters—a fictional work written from a senior demon’s perspective, advising a junior tempter.
In other words, the humans are to be encouraged to regard as the basis for marriage a highly-coloured and distorted version of something the Enemy really promises as its result. Two advantages follow. In the first place, humans who have not the gift of continence can be deterred from seeking marriage as a solution because they do not find themselves ‘in love’, and, thanks to us, the idea of marrying with any other motive seems to them low and cynical. Yes, they think that. They regard the intention of loyalty to a partnership for mutual help, for the preservation of chastity, and for the transmission of life, as something lower than a storm of emotion.
The Screwtape Letters
C. S. Lewis
“Some women would be better off alone, but they feel they’ve got to get hold of someone to prove they’re worth while,” she said, sweeping the air with her arm and clapping her fist into her palm. “If they do decide to be alone, part of their loneliness will come from outside, rather than inside. Society will pity them, look down on them.”
The House by the Sea: A Journal
May Sarton
Inasmuch then as our Master knew that if He carved out only one road for us, many must shrink from it, He carved out various roads. It may be you cannot enter the Kingdom by the way of virginity. Enter it then by the way of single marriage.
Can you not enter it by one marriage? Perchance you may by means of a second marriage. You cannot enter by the way of continence? Enter then by the way of almsgiving. Or you cannot enter by the way of almsgiving? Then try the way of fasting. If you cannot use this way, take that—or if not that, then take this. Therefore the prophet spoke not of a garment of gold, but of one woven with gold. It is of silk, or purple, or gold. You cannot be a golden part? Then be a silken one. I accept you, if only you are clothed in My raiment. Therefore also Paul says, “If any man builds upon this foundation, gold, silver, precious stones” (1 Cor. 3:12). You cannot be the precious stone? Then be the gold. You cannot be the gold? Then be the silver, if only you are resting upon the foundation. And again elsewhere, “There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars” (1 Cor. 15:41). You cannot be a sun? Then be a moon. You cannot be a moon? Then be a star. You cannot be a large star? Be content to be a little one if only you are in the Heaven. You cannot be a virgin? Then live continently in the married state, only abiding in the Church. You cannot be without possessions? Then give alms, only abiding in the Church, only wearing the proper raiment, only submitting to the queen. The raiment is woven with gold; it is manifold in texture.
I do not bar the way against you, for the abundance of virtues has rendered the dispensation of the King easy in operation. Clothed in a vesture woven with gold, manifold in texture. Her vesture is manifold: unfold, if you please, the deep meaning of the expression here used, and fix your eyes upon this garment woven with gold. For here indeed some live celibate, others live in an honorable estate of matrimony being not much inferior to them; some have married once, others are widows in the flower of their age. For what purpose is a paradise? And wherefore its variety? Having various flowers and trees and many pearls. There are many stars, but only one sun; there are many ways of living, but only one Paradise; there are many temples, but only one mother of them all.
There is the body, the eye, the finger, but all these make but one man. There is the same distinction between the small, the great, and the less. The virgin has need of the married woman; for the virgin also is the product of marriage, that marriage may not be despised by her. The virgin is the root of marriage. Thus all things have been linked together, the small with the great, and the great with the small. The queen stood on your right hand clothed in a vesture wrought with gold, manifold in texture.
Saint John Chrysostom
HOMILY TWO, After Eutropios, having been found outside the church, was taken captive
On the Vanity of Riches
If a man and a woman marry to satisfy their sexual appetites, or to further the material aims of themselves or their families, then the union is unlikely to bring blessings. But if a man and a woman marry in order to be companions on the journey from earth to heaven, then their union will bring great joy to themselves and to others.
—St. John Chrysostom
If the Christian married couple lived a spiritual life, the clause of divorce could be abolished completely from the personal statute. There would be no need for it, as the great love that joins the married couple together would never allow divorce. On the contrary, instead of separation, the relationship between them will deepen day after day.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III
I hope no woman here will ever allow herself to lose her ideals, even though she meets with resistance and disappointment; still dress your sweetest, look your nicest, and care for the home, making it as happy as possible, though your heart is like lead within you. In middle life and afterwards we get beyond our ideals. They are like the withered flowers of a bridal bouquet—a handful of withered leaves. The heart that sits alone, when the light of some great hope has passed, may well be said to sit “in the dust.”
The Gift of Suffering
by F.B. Meyer
The question for Christians who are already married and raising children is not: “How can I reduce to a bare minimum my family obligations so as to be ‘free’ to lead a ‘more spiritual’ life?” It is rather: “How should I nurture within my family life my love for God and my neighbor?”
Children in the Church Today: An Orthodox Perspective
by Sister Magdalen
She may say, “Until when do I continue giving him my love?” The matter, however, requires that we do not take things personally, and that we understand that his lack of expression of his feelings has something to do with his upbringing and his way of thinking about his ideal self. This understanding liberates the wife from the bonds that he does not love her, and she begins to say, “He loves me but he does not know how to express his feelings. Therefore, I will teach him how to do so, by expressing my feelings and offering him love.” My advice to you is that you should not look at this matter personally, because you will not be able to offer [him] love, except if you look at this as a matter related to his personality, education, and upbringing.
—H.E. Metropolitan Youssef, How to Develop Your Personality
SO GOOD QUOTES 