Every bad behavior comes from an unmet need.
Category: SUFFERING & TRIBULATION
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Humble yourself before God; that is, like the wise thief say from your whole heart: “I have received as I deserve according to my deeds. Remember me, O Lord, when Thou comest into Thy Kingdom.” Do not be like the other thief who railed at everyone, cursed, blamed others for his sufferings, and in this way only made his situation worse and perished.
—Abbot Nikon Vorobiev, Abbot Nikon Letters to Spiritual Children p.174 -
It is necessary for a disciple and follower of Christ to take up his cross. The cross means the various difficulties and sorrows associated with a Christian life. Crosses may be external as well as internal. To take up your cross means to tolerate everything without complaining, regardless of how unpleasant things might become. For example, if someone has insulted you or laughed at you or provoked you, bear it all without anger or resentment. Similarly, if you helped someone and he, instead of showing gratitude, made up deceitful tales about you or if you wanted to do something good but were unable to accomplish it, bear it without despondency. Did some misfortune befall you? Did someone in your family become ill, or despite all your efforts and tireless labor did you repeatedly suffer failure? Has some other thing or person oppressed you? Bear all with patience in the name of Jesus Christ. Do not consider yourself punished unjustly, but accept everything as your cross.
—St. Innocent of Alaska, The Way Into the Kingdom of Heaven -
We never know what someone is working through and where they are on their spiritual journey. We make judgments based on what we see, but they are only skin-deep judgments. If only we knew people’s hearts, their struggles, we would pray instead of entertaining the judgmental “whys” that come to us…
—Presvytera Constantina Palmer in ‘The Sweetness of Grace’ -
104. We savor pleasure and joy to the degree to which we taste affliction. One does not drink with pleasure unless one is thirsty, nor eat with pleasure unless hungry, nor sleep soundly unless very drowsy, nor feel joy without grief beforehand. Likewise we shall not enjoy eternal blessings unless we despise transient things.
St. Anthony the Great: On the Character of Men and on the Virtuous Life: One Hundred and Seventy Texts
Philokalia -
“When you see your body wasted through sickness, do not murmur against God, but say: ‘The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.’ You are accustomed to look upon your body as upon your own inalienable property, but that is quite wrong, because your body is God’s edifice.”
—St. John of Kronstadt, On Sickness -
“To stand firm in certain painful circumstances can demand much courage: the long night of waiting, the loneliness of not being understood, unjust treatment, poor health, personal defects, etc. We have to know how to stand firm in pure faith when we seem to be only weakness, seem to be only sin. We have to consent in advance to all that, to the desert of the desert. We have to desire the purity which suffering alone can teach.
It seems to me perseverance is a great school of humility: a gradual coming to know this self which persist in time, whose features become defined, whose character traits recur, whose limits take shape. Through trial one discovers one’s own heart, and becomes an authentic person situated in the real.
We are at times reduced to a material or animal perseverance, or even simply to being there, like a rock, without really knowing why, nor to what purpose. It is like a narrow room without light or air. Still, one goes on by a sort of gravitational law. Later, one realizes that perseverance is a pure grace, independent of personal merit. Then, the Spirit once again breathes life into our dried bones; we get up and go on.”
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“If he’d learned one thing while he’d been away, it was that loneliness is the most taboo subject in the world. Forget sex or politics or religion. Or even failure. Loneliness is what clears out a room.”
— Douglas Coupland, Miss Wyoming
Pain, for instance. Everyone has it, most people want to talk about it, yet no one really wants to hear about it. Talking about one’s pain makes one boring and embarrassing. It imposes on the sympathy and energy of others.
—Noreen Masud, There is nothing so deep as the gleaming surface of the aphorism -
Pain and suffering went into man’s life because a relationship was no longer present.
—H.E. Metropolitan Youssef, How to Develop Your Personality
