Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called “being in love” usually does not last.

—C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

And, of course, the promise, made when I am in love and because I am in love, to be true to the beloved as long as I live, commits one to being true even if I cease to be in love. A promise must be about things that I can do, about actions: no one can promise to go on feeling in a certain way. He might as well promise never to have a headache or always to feel hungry. But what, it may be asked, is the use of keeping two people together if they are no longer in love? There are several sound, social reasons; to provide a home for their children, to protect the woman (who has probably sacrificed or damaged her own career by getting married) from being dropped whenever the man is tired of her.

—C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Justice, as I said before, includes the keeping of promises. Now everyone who has been married in a church has made a public, solemn promise to stick to his (or her) partner till death. The duty of keeping that promise has no special connection with sexual morality: it is in the same position as any other promise. If, as modern people are always telling us, the sexual impulse is just like all our other impulses, then it ought to be treated like all our other impulses; and as their indulgence is controlled by our promises, so should its be. If, as I think, it is not like all our other impulses, but is morbidly inflamed, then we should be especially careful not to let it lead us into dishonesty.

—C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

If He intends that you should be this man’s wife all hindrance will be overcome, and marry him you will. But if God does not wish it, no matter how you plan and strive for it, will be of no avail.

And beware you do not blindly insist that things must work out according to what you consider to be right and good. God sometimes does permit such blind insistence to be followed by the fulfilment of our ardent desires. This always leads to misery and disaster (intended to open our eyes on our folly), and happens particularly often when our desires are founded on wild passions.

Letters of Elder Macarius of Optina

If this marriage is agreeable to Him, your eagerness will increase after prayer.

Letters of Elder Macarius of Optina

in a world where connection feels increasingly out of reach, unrequited love offers a strange kind of relief. it doesn’t require mutual vulnerability. it gives you something to orbit and something to narrate. in the absence of real intimacy, we become devoted to the imagined kind. and we convince ourselves that longing is just as good as love.

the person you loved stays exactly as you need them to be. beautiful, distant, unfinished. and so do you. you get to remain ideal too. you never have to make room for their fears, their pettiness, their boredom. you never have to reveal yours. unrequited love allows both of you to stay fictional.

building a cathedral of what could have been
because love that doesn’t happen never dies
milkfed

In Malachi Chapter 2, the Lord said “I hate divorce.”

…In divorce, everyone suffers—the couple and the children—and the children suffer the most.

—H.E. Metropolitan Youssef