• What we gain from fasting does not compensate for what we lose through anger. Our profit from scriptural reading in no way equals the damage we cause ourselves by showing contempt for a brother. We must practice fasting, vigils, withdrawal, and the meditation of Scripture as activities which are subordinate to our main objective, purity of heart, that is to say, love, and we must never disturb this principal virtue for the sake of those others. If this virtue remains whole and unharmed within us nothing can injure us, not even if we are forced to omit any of those other subordinate virtues. Nor will it be of any use to have practiced all these latter if there is missing in us that principal objective for the sake of which all else is undertaken.

    —St. John Cassian (Conferences, Conf. One sect. 7; Paulist Press pg. 42)

  • “What we gain by fasting is not so great as the damage done by anger; nor is the profit from spiritual reading as great as the harm done when we scorn or grieve a brother.”

    —St. John Cassian

  • “Anger is vanquished by renouncing our desires and our own will.”

    —Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica

  • Anger and sorrow might control you and you might accept them as holy anger and grief for God’s sake…

    This may lead you to cruelty of heart…

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Words of Spiritual Benefit Vol. 1

  • “I have never seen anyone corrected through anger, but always through love.”

    —Elder Joseph the Hesychast

  • Humility is, when the other person is at fault, for us to do a metanoia (prostration) to him and say, ‘Forgive me, my brother, I am sorry!’ before he has time to seek forgiveness. 

    —Saint Joseph the Hesychast

  • So, fathers, brothers, sisters: let us forgive one another. Let us not think about why. There is enough to think about. Let us do it. 

    —Fr. Alexander Schmemann

  • For the humble, the severity of the offense and the existence of an apology are extraneous factors in terms of one’s willingness to forgive. This new perspective on forgiveness offers freedom (a favorite theme of Dostoevsky) in that the one offended has the power to forgive in each and every circumstance and is not constrained by such factors as the severity of the offense or the presence of an apology. It is a freedom based on knowing who we are, what God has done for us, and what we desire to give Him in return. Always aware of the ten thousand talents that we owe God, always aware that He has forgiven us with His grace and loving kindness, always aware that all of us will stand together one day before our Maker, we come to understand what ultimately matters is not so much what was said to us or done to us, but our faithfulness to Christ’s love, our imitation of His forgiveness, and our humility before the weaknesses of others.

    —Fr. Alexis (Trader), Less Injustice or More Humility: Two Perspectives on Forgiveness

  • If the one who started the quarrel comes to his senses first and humbly asks his opponent for forgiveness, he will erase the guilt of his soul; and if the innocent remains irreconcilable in his pride, he will become even guiltier than the one who started the fight. It is good for the younger party to make the first step toward reconciliation, but if he does not have the sense to do so, nothing prevents the older or higher in rank to humble himself first.

    The Meaning of Suffering and Strife & Reconciliations
    Archimandrite Seraphim Aleksiev

  • Let us too, beloved, as we know this, be always ready to be reconciled to our enemies. Let us not excuse ourselves with the fact that the other person does not want to be reconciled to us. Even if he does not want to forgive us, what is preventing us from forgiving him? If he wants to commit spiritual suicide through strife, is it wise for us to inflict the same misfortune upon ourselves?

    How often in life one hears similar excuses: “How can I forgive him when he does not come to me? He is lesser than I; let him be the first to extend his hand for reconciliation! He offended me, that is why he must apologize first! I do not have anything against him, but if he does not want to make peace, I do not want to either. Who—I—to go first and ask for forgiveness?! Why should I be humiliated before him? What is he?

    The Meaning of Suffering and Strife & Reconciliations
    Archimandrite Seraphim Aleksiev