If the Scripture commands me not to have communion with fornicators, adulterers … etc. (1 Cor 6: 9), should I then say: I do not condemn those?! Does not having no communion with them or with others as mentioned in (1 Cor 6: 11) imply condemning them? Likewise, we are commanded not to accept those who deviate from the sound doctrine, as the apostle says: “If anyone comes to you and does not bring this doctrine, do not receive him into your house nor greet him; for he who greets him shares in his evil deeds.” (2 Jn 10, 11) Should we in the name of gentleness accept those? The apostle says, “Some men’s sins are clearly evident, preceding them to judgment.” (1 Tim 5: 24) It is not you who condemn them, but their works do. You have only to avoid them, gently.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit
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“To grieve excessively over one’s sins and to become despondent is a sign not of humility, but of pride. We must feel contrition and regret for offending the Lord with our sins, ask His pardon and try not to repeat them.
—Abbot Nikon Vorobiev
“But do not be troubled or sad. The Lord sometimes allows people who are devoted to Him to fall into such dreadful vices; and this is in order to prevent them from falling into a still greater sin–pride. Your temptation will pass and you will spend the remaining days of your life in humility. Only do not forget your sin.”
—St. Seraphim of Sarov
How could I fall into something like that? How could I hurt God’s loving heart? How could I disloyally betray God who has done me good all my life? How could I defile the heart that has been cleansed in baptism and which Christ cleansed by His Blood? How? How could I fall from the high tower in which I was? How could I, a son of God, live as the children of the world and as a defilement of the whole earth? How could I anger God’s heart? How could I grieve the Holy Spirit who dwells in me? How could I defile myself and make myself unclean? How? Indeed the sin has been forgiven, but how could I have done that?
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Before the Just Judge
Sometimes we hear many people say the following statement: “I have confessed, and the priest read the absolution and said to me, ‘That is it, God is not upset with you,’ but I am not able to forgive myself.” The statement,
“I am not able to forgive myself,” means that the ideal self is pressuring the true self, saying to it,
“Even if God forgave you, I will not forgive you.” And so, the person is tormented because he cannot forgive himself. He cannot actually accept the gift of remission and forgiveness from the hand of God, because the ideal self says to the true self that it is not worthy of forgiveness and remission. And the struggle continues, because the ideal self continually attacks the true self. But if it [i.e. the ideal self] accepts it with its weakness and helplessness, then remission is offered it from the hand of Christ, and through the Holy Mysteries, on the basis of them being a healing and growth for the soul, so the true self grows from glory to glory, till it becomes conformed to the image of His Son.
—H.E. Metropolitan Youssef, How to Develop Your Personality
If you happen to be wounded by succumbing to some sin through weakness, or through the faulty nature of your character (I mean here pardonable sins: an unfitting word has slipped out, you lost your temper, a bad thought flashed in your head, an unfitting desire flared up, and so on), do not lose heart and fall into sense-less turmoil. Above all do not dwell on yourself, do not say: “How could I be such as to allow and suffer it?” This is a cry of proud self-opinion. Humble yourself and, raising your eyes to the Lord, say and feel: “What else could be expected of me, O Lord, weak and faulty as I am.” Thereupon give thanks to Him that the thing has gone no further, saying: “If it were not for Thy boundless mercy, O Lord, I would not have stopped at that, but would certainly have fallen into something much worse.”
With this feeling and consciousness of yourself you must not, however, admit the self-indulgent and heedless thought that since you are what you are, you have as it were a right to behave wrongly. No, in spite of the fact that you are weak and faulty, you are accounted guilty for all the wrong things you do. For since you possess a will, all that comes forth from you is subject to it, and so everything good is counted in your favour and everything bad—to your detriment. Therefore, conscious of your general wickedness, admit yourself guilty also in the particular wicked-ness, into which you have fallen at the present moment. Judge and condemn yourself, and only, yourself; do not look around, seeking on whom you could put the blame. Neither the people around you nor the circumstances are guilty of your sin. Your bad will alone is to blame. So blame yourself.
—Lorenzo Scupoli, Unseen Warfare
“Remember your sin in order to learn from it, not to strand yourself in grief—Satan wants you in this snare. Satan wants you to perpetually ask yourself, how could I have done such a thing?
Move forward.”
—John Khalil
If, at confession, you have been pardoned a sin committed in the past, it is unnecessary to mention it again. But it may sometimes be useful to ponder it, so that your repentance should not be dulled. See, however, that this does-not lead to depression. If it should, drop it at once.
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“Sometimes the thing we’re struggling with personally is the thing that we’re so violently loud about.”
—Fr. Antony Paul -
You will discover comfort in reproaching yourself. Reproach and judge yourself and God will justify and have mercy upon you.
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Now, you have an opportunity to repent, but when you reach the dust, there will be no opportunity.
If you reach Hades, there will be no chance. After death, there is no chance. After death, the Holy Bible says that
“the door was shut” (Mt.25:10) and the foolish virgins stood outside- they had lost the chance.
All the inhabitants of Hades long to have one minute of your lifetime, in which to offer repentance, but they cannot find it. All the inhabitants of Hades yearn for just one minute of your lifetime in which they would offer repentance, yet they cannot find that minute- that one minute they cannot find. And you have a lifetime granted you by God in which to offer repentance. So do not be negligent.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Before the Just Judge
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“Do not be a frequent rebuker of others, and if you must, do so without hurting them. Do not assume the worst in others, nor try to catch them out in word or action. Do not make them feel that you have the posture of their critic or enemy”
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III -
We have to discriminate between different kinds of judging. Sin begins when we start to despise a person in our heart because of some fault which he has committed. It is possible to judge quite simply, without bringing in a verdict against the person we judge. And if at the same time we feel pity in our heart for the person at fault, sincerely desiring his amendment of life and praying that he may do better in future, then there will be no sin in judging but, on the contrary, to judge him would be as much an act of love as is possible in such a case.
The sin of judging is more in the heart than on the lips. Talking about a particular thing may be a sin or not, depending upon the feeling with which the words are said. Feeling gives the speech its character. It is best to refrain from any kind of judging, for fear of becoming censorious; in other words, it is best not to come too close to the fire and the soot so as not to be burned and blackened. We should do better to direct our censure and criticism against ourselves.
—St Theophan the Recluse
