“It’s better this way. A little lonelier but better.”
—Lisa Schroeder,The Day Before
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Some may say, “It’s up to us to determine our own value,” and I agree to some extent, but if we’re completely alone and never see anyone or connect with others, then there’s no way for us to affirm our worth. I think that no matter how much of a lone wolf someone may appear to be, there’s some level of desire within them to have another person—anyone—turn their attention to them. Like dogs, we simply can’t bear absolute loneliness. Unless we can see ourselves reflected from another person’s perspective, it isn’t possible for us to really know our worth.
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When we are lonely we not only react more intensely to the negatives; we also experience less of a soothing uplift from the positives. Even when we succeed in eliciting nurturing support from a friend or a loved one, if we are feeling lonely we tend to perceive the exchange as less fulfilling than we had hoped it would be.
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While the objective in going to certain bars and dance clubs appears to be getting drunk and hooking up, how many of the people crowding in are actually driven by a deeper craving for human connection that they simply don’t know how to pursue? That they might fail to find truly satisfying connection amid blaring noise and shouted conversation—often interrupted by someone’s cell phone—is not entirely surprising. Unfortunately, their failure to find what they need then makes them all the more susceptible to the slightly out of control behavior that often begins in bars and dance clubs.
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“Introverts don’t get lonely if they don’t socialize with a lot of people, but we do get lonely if we don’t have intimate interactions on a regular basis.”
—Sophia Dembling, The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World -
Whenever you feel lonely, do you ever stop to think that your heart is calling out to God, who is its creator? Or do you think God places that feeling to get you to talk with Him?
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I began to realize it wasn’t those quiet moments alone in my apartment that I dreaded, it’s that moment on Monday morning when my coworker asks what I did over the weekend.
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“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert
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Being alone can be the most empowering experience of your life. If you let the loneliness consume you, you’re going to lose that rare chance to figure yourself out. You can always find company in yourself. Loneliness is going to try to force you to find that company with another person. Everyone has a place in the world, though, and yours shouldn’t be inside someone else.
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“The greatest paralysis – the greatest form of being paralyzed – is loneliness.”
—Fr. Daniel Fanous
SO GOOD QUOTES 