This reminds us of the saying of Saint Bishoy: “I do not remember that the devil has tempted me into the same sin twice.” It is possible that the first sin was as a result of ignorance, negligence, weakness, or lack of awareness of the tricks of the devil, or lack of cautiousness. But after repentance and awakening, there is strictness in living and a caution of sin. The person who discards sin and then returns to it—therefore sometimes leaving it, and sometimes returning—has not yet repented. This is only an attempt toward repentance. Every time the sinner arises from his sin, sin drags him lower.
Repentance is a cry from the conscience and a revolt against the past. It is repulsion from sin, great regret, and rejection of the old state with embarrassment and shame.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, The Life of Repentance and Purity
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Reasons and wisdom behind the alleged delay:
3. The reason might be to test our faithIt is a test for us whether we become worried when our prayers are not responded to immediately, whether we grumble, resort to a human being, complain to others, blaspheme, or we wait with faith, hope, and trust. It is a test from God to our faith, and a test from us to ourselves so that we may be able to treat any weakness that may be found in us.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, The Life of Hope
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There is a well known saying: “He who lives only for himself never lived.” Then in the service, you must get out of your shell to meet others. You must get out of the “I” sphere to spread your love among all. You feel that your message in life is to do good to all those whom God send in your way. The more you gain experience in life and broadness in the heart, the circle of your service will get bigger. It would not be limited to your house and your family, and not only to your relatives, neighbours, friends and colleagues, but it will reach to a range that is wider and wider…
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, The Spiritual Means -
Do not rush and make a vow to God about something that later on you might not be able to carry out. For example, do not vow your virginity while in a state of spiritual excitement then realize that you are unable to live this life. Instead of the vow, offer your desire as a prayer. Say to Him: “Lord, this is my heart’s desire. If You see that it is good and possible for me, grant it and give me the strength to carry it out. Let it be according to Your will in my life.”
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, The Spiritual Means
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Do you practise this abstinence from food and drink? And do you reach a stage of hunger and you endure it?
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When you become hungry, you feel your weakness so you do not show off your strength but rely on God’s strength to support you. And when you become hungry and endure hunger, you acquire the virtue of endurance and self-control. Therefore do not eat whenever you feel hungry during fasting but persevere and endure. Take the blessing of feeling hungry, persevering and enduring it. Also when you experience hunger, you will feel the pain of the poor who have nothing to eat, so you will be sympathetic towards them and give unto them… This is what is meant by abstaining for a period of time during fasting.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, The Spiritual Means -
The purely intellectual thinking that is void of the work of the Spirit does not produce contemplation… It might produce knowledge or philosophy, but not contemplation.
There is a difference between a scholar and a worshipper, between the one who studies and the one who contemplates, between the one who searches the books and the one who receives from the Spirit.
Contemplation is not just a thought. It is mixing the thought with the heart, then leaving the heart as a tool in the hand of the spirit. Then the spirit prays to take from the Spirit of God. And what the spirit takes is given to the mind through the heart.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, The Spiritual Means -
Some put in their mind a specific idea that they have already decided on, then read to search for a verse to confirm what they have made up their mind about. Or they try to subjugate what is written in the Bible to their own thoughts. As for you, do not be like that, but read to learn and to know.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, The Spiritual Means
