He who refuses to pardon, how often has he begged it for himself?
—Seneca, On Anger
-
For he who is angry on account of the things which have been done to him, and demands satisfaction would not be able to obtain the praise of forbearance; but when a man dismisses the consideration of all past evils, although they are many and painful, but is compelled to take steps for self-defense from fear of the future and by way of providing for his own security, no one would deprive him of the rewards of moderation.
Nevertheless, David did not act even thus, but found a novel and strange form of moral wisdom. And neither the remembrance of things past, nor the fear of things to come, nor the instigation of the captain, nor the solitude of the place, nor the facility for slaying, nor anything else incited him to kill; but he spared the man who was his enemy and had given him pain, just as if he was some benefactor and had done him much good. What kind of indulgence then shall we have if we are mindful of past transgressions and avenge ourselves on those who have given us pain, whereas that innocent man who had undergone such great sufferings and expected more and worse evils to befall him in consequence of saving his enemy, is seen to spare him, so as to prefer incurring danger himself and to live in fear and trembling, rather than put to a just death the man who would cause him endless troubles?
His moral wisdom then we may perceive, not only from the fact that he did not slay Saul when there was so strong a compulsion, but also that he did not utter an irreverent word against him, although he who was insulted would not have heard him. Yet we often speak evil of friends when they are ab-sent, he on the contrary not even of the enemy who had done him such great wrong. His moral wisdom then we may perceive from these things, but his lovingkindness and tender care from what he did after these things. For when he had cut off the fringe of Saul’s garment and had taken away the bottle of water, he withdrew afar off and stood and shouted and exhibited these things to him whose life he had preserved, doing so not with a view to display and ostentation, but desiring to convince him by his deeds that he suspected him without a cause as his enemy, and aiming therefore at winning him into friendship. Nevertheless, when he had even thus failed to persuade him, and could have laid hands on him, he again chose rather to be an exile from his country and to sojourn in a strange land and suffer distress every day in procuring necessary food than to remain at home and vex his adversary. What spirit could be kinder than his? He was indeed justified in saying, “Lord remember David and all his meekness” (Ps. 131:1).
Saint John Chrysostom
If Thine Enemy Hunger, Feed Him
Homilies on Profitable Subjects -
There are two paths. One, the path of self-reproach and humility. And two, the path of self-justification and despondency.
-
Watch the music you hear because it will impact your mood—you may be more likely to get angry because of the music.
—Fr. Mina Dimitri -
Consider money in a similar light. When we burden ourselves with more than we need, we unknowingly nurture a harmful beast within us, leading to numerous cares and providing the devil with handles against us. The pursuit of wealth can entangle us in snares, particularly for the rich, whose very business concerns often contribute to their downfall.
Therefore, I urge you to resist the allure of these desires so that we can avoid falling into the traps set by the evil one. By embracing virtue and seeking eternal good things, may we attain them through the grace and mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ. To Him, together with the Father and the Holy Ghost, be glory forever. Amen.
—St. John Chrysostom
-
Now, let’s delve into how harming others ultimately harms ourselves. Consider a person who wrongs, insults, or deceives another; whom do they harm first? It’s undeniably themselves. While the immediate damage might be financial, the deeper consequences affect the soul, leading to destruction and punishment. Envy is another example. When someone harbors envy, they injure themselves first. Injustice inherently causes immeasurable harm to its perpetrator. Yes, they may harm others, but the harm to themselves outweighs it.
Let’s examine in our own lives the consequences of certain actions, particularly when parts or functions within us overstep their proper bounds and assume the roles of others. Consider if the spleen, for instance, were to abandon its designated place and seize on the functions of another organ—wouldn’t this be considered a disease? Similarly, if the moisture within us were to fill every possible space, wouldn’t it result in conditions like dropsy and gout, ultimately harming itself and other parts? Likewise, if bile seeks an extensive area and blood is dispersed throughout the body without restraint, it disrupts the natural order.Applying this analogy to the soul, think about what happens when emotions like anger and lust exceed their proper measure. Just as excess is detrimental to the body, if the eye attempts to take in more than it should or receives an excessive amount of light, it faces ruin. In the soul, if we indulge in an excessive pursuit of food, the consequences can be severe.
—St. John Chrysostom
-
The havoc caused by angry and wrathful passions is undeniable. What adds to the grievance is that once we’ve separated, the power to reconcile is lost. We wait for others to take the initiative. Each is ashamed, reluctant to return and mend the broken ties. It’s like not hesitating to sever a limb but feeling ashamed to reattach it.
If you’ve committed wrongs and caused the quarrel, you should be the first to seek reconciliation. If the other person is at fault, you should still initiate reconciliation. Anger and false pride are like illnesses, and you, being in good health, should act as the physician to the sick. Physicians don’t refrain from visiting the sick; instead, they go when the patient can’t come to them.
Let’s not consider ill designs against us as grievous. As long as we avoid ill designs against ourselves, no one will have the power to harm us. People may plot against us, but they won’t harm us; in fact, they may benefit us greatly. Ultimately, it’s within our control whether we suffer harm or not. I boldly declare that a Christian, on this earth, is impervious to harm from any human being. Not even the Evil Spirit, the tyrant, the Devil, can harm a Christian unless the individual harms themselves. Whatever anyone attempts against a Christian is in vain. Just as no human could harm an angel on earth, one human cannot harm another.
—St. John Chrysostom -
Why hurt yourself by retaliating? Avoid succumbing to anger; keep yourself unharmed. You might ask, how is it possible to bear insults and abuse? I counter, why wouldn’t it be possible? Do words cause physical wounds, or inflict bruises on our bodies? Where is the harm to us? If we choose, we can endure it. Let’s establish a rule for ourselves not to be distressed, and we’ll manage.
Handle anger like fire—don’t let it scatter everywhere in your thoughts. Keep it in a deep recess of the mind, so the wind from opposing words won’t easily reach it. Let the wind that stirs it come from yourself, managing it with moderation and safety. If the wind comes from outside, it knows no limits and can set everything on fire.
Use [anger] like torches against those who wrong others or against the devil. [Anger is] necessary only when we must soften, mollify, and convict the soul, subduing obduracy when needed.
—St. John Chrysostom
-
People can make a statement [of anger] and lose the rest of their life.
—Fr. Mina Dimitri
SO GOOD QUOTES 