SO GOOD QUOTES

  • “The degree to which one blames one’s parents is the degree to which one is still stuck in the family of origin, is still a child.”

    —David Augsburger, Helping People Forgive

  • Because our parents live inside us as part of our own psychic constitution, cutting them off would be something like trying to excise a liver or heart, a part of our body essential for life. “Cutting off” parents as a way of managing anxiety and pain may provide temporary relief, but as an attempt at a permanent solution it is bound to have deleterious effects on everyone: on the perpetrator of the abuse, who never gets confronted with the effects of his sin; on the victim, who not only remains in a victimized position vis–à–vis her parents, but is also seriously split (i.e., cut off from herself) insofar as she avoids facing the internalized representations of her parents; and also on the whole extended family, who are adversely affected by the taboos and secrets related to the abuse, even if they themselves have no direct knowledge of it.

    Bearing the Unbearable: Trauma, Gospel, and Pastoral Care
    Deborah van Deusen Hunsinger

  • The actuality of God’s grace toward sinners not only assures us of our own forgiveness, but is also the condition for the possibility of our forgiving anyone who has harmed us. Only insofar as forgiveness is first received as God’s unimaginable gift can it be offered to another in love. That is to say, only as we receive the actuality of God’s forgiveness do we have the capacity to forgive another who has harmed us.

    Bearing the Unbearable: Trauma, Gospel, and Pastoral Care
    Deborah van Deusen Hunsinger

  • Do you pardon the sins of others as readily as you pardon your own? And are their sins really as bad as you think they are?

    Other people deserve a break as much as you do.

    — Dan Pedersen, Forgiveness | Living With Confidence

  • “Bear with everyone as God bears with you.”

    —Abba Ammon

  • “Whatever you do in revenge to a brother who has done you wrong will all become an obstacle for you at the time of prayer.”

    —Abba Nil, Give Me a Word: The Alphabetical Sayings of the Desert Fathers

  • We’ve all seen little kids lash out at each other and then five minutes later be playing together happily. Sadly, we the parents of those kids hold our grudges a lot longer.

    —Fr. Stavros Akrotirianakis

  • There is a difference between saying ‘I’m sorry’ and saying ‘Forgive me.’

    —Fr. Stavros Akrotirianakis, Forgiveness

    “You know, Don, there’s a difference between apologizing and asking for forgiveness,” he said. “An apology is a statement, as informal as a press release, but asking forgiveness involves giving power to the person you’re seeking forgiveness from.”

    Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy

  • Forgive yourself. Even if everyone else forgives you, it wouldn’t matter.

    You will not move forward until you forgive yourself. This is when healing begins.

    There Are No Regrets In This Life, Only Lessons
    By Natalie Madeline

  • The only time you truly become an adult is when you finally forgive your parents for being just as flawed as everyone else.

    —Douglas Kennedy, The Pursuit of Happiness