• H.H. Pope Shenouda III on Fr. Faltaous El Souriany:

    Despite the fact that Fr. Faltaous led a life full of struggles, solitude, and silence, he still has a great sense of humour. I recall that one time when we were baking pita bread, I noticed that the bread he was baking was very large in size, so I asked him, ‘Why are you making the bread so large, father?’ So he responded, ‘Some of the monks are training themselves to eat only one pita, so I am making the pita bread bigger so that it would be equivalent to three pitas
    Combined!’

    The Star of the Sheheet Desert

  • from the book Institutes by St. John Cassian

    BOOK VIII. OF THE SPIRIT OF ANGER. 

    CHAPTER XI: Of those to whose wrath even the going down of the sun sets no limit.

    BUT what am I to say of those (and I cannot say it without shame on my own part) to whose implacability even the going down of the sun sets no bound: but prolonging it for several days, and nourishing rancorous feelings against those against whom they have been excited, they say in words that they are not angry, but in fact and deed they show that they are extremely disturbed? For they do not speak to them pleasantly, nor address them with ordinary civility, and they think that they are not doing wrong m this, because they do not seek to avenge themselves for their upset. But since they either do not dare, or at any rate are not able to show their anger openly, and give place to it, they drive in, to their own detriment, the poison of anger, and secretly cherish it in their hearts, and silently feed on it in themselves; without shaking off by an effort of mind their sulky disposition, but digesting it as the days go by, and somewhat mitigating it after a while. 

    CHAPTER XVI: How useless is the retirement of those who do not give up their bad manners. 

    SOMETIMES when we have been overcome by pride or impatience, and we want to improve our rough and bearish manners, we complain that we require solitude, as if we should find the virtue of patience there where nobody provokes us: and we apologize for our carelessness, and say that the reason of our disturbance does not spring from our own impatience, but from the fault of our brethren. And while we lay the blame of our fault on others, we shall never be able to reach the goal of patience and perfection. 

    CHAPTER XVIII: Of the zeal with which we should seek the desert, and of the things in which we make progress there.

    For a man appears to himself to be patient and humble, just as long as he comes across nobody in intercourse; but he will presently revert to his former nature, whenever the chance of any sort of passion occurs: I mean that those faults will at once appear on the surface which were lying hid

    CHAPTER XIX: An illustration to help in forming an opinion on those who are only patient when they are not tried by any one. 

    And so in the case of men who are aiming at perfection, it is not enough not to be angry with men. For we recollect that when we were living in solitude a feeling of irritation would creep over us against our pen because it was too large or too small; against our penknife when it cut badly and with a blunt edge what we wanted cut; and against a flint if by chance when we were rather late and hurrying to the reading, a spark of fire flashed out, so that we could not remove and get rid of our perturbation of mind except by cursing the senseless matter, or at least the devil. Wherefore for a method of perfection it will not be of any use for there to be a dearth of men against whom our anger might be roused: since, if patience has not already been acquired, the feelings of passion which still dwell in our hearts can equally well spend themselves on dumb things and paltry objects, and not allow us to gain a continuous state of peacefulness, or to be free from our remaining faults: unless perhaps we think that some advantage and a sort of cure may be gained for our passion from the fact that inanimate and speechless things cannot possibly reply to our curses and rage, nor provoke our ungovernable temper to break out into a worse madness of passion. 

    CHAPTER XXII: The remedies by which we can root out anger from our hearts. WHEREFORE the athlete of Christ who strives lawfully ought thoroughly to root out the feeling of wrath. And it will be a sure remedy for this disease, if in the first place we make up our mind that we ought never to be angry at all, whether for good or bad reasons: as we know that we shall at once lose the light of discernment, and the security of good counsel, and our very uprightness, and the temperate character of righteousness, if the main light of our heart has been darkened by its shadows: next, that the purity of our soul will presently be clouded, and that it cannot possibly be made a temple for the Holy Ghost while the spirit of anger resides in us; lastly, that we should consider that we ought never to pray, nor pour out our prayer to God, while we are angry. And above all, having before our eyes the uncertain condition of mankind, we should realize daily that we are soon to depart from the body, and that our continence and chastity, our renunciation of all our possessions, our contempt of wealth, our efforts in fastings and vigils will not help us at all, if solely on account of anger and hatred eternal punishments are awarded to us by the judge of the world.

  • There’s no need to give up everything; not even nuns do that: ‘Each one should do this in conformity with his state in life.’

    Teresa of Ávila

  • A pause before a decision prevents suffering.

    —Joshua Fields Millburn

  • I don’t think there’s a single dumbass thing I’ve done in my adult life that I didn’t know was a dumbass thing to do while I was doing it. Even when I justified it to myself—as I did every damn time—the truest part of me knew I was doing the wrong thing. Always.

    — Cheryl Strayed

  • God is answering in four ways: delaying, reversing the request, not answering, or answering immediately.

    H.H. Pope Shenouda III

  • If you would wish to know the sure signs, which will secure you the real model, it is not hard to take a sketch from life. If you see a man so standing between death and life, as to select from each helps for the contemplative course, never letting death’s stupor paralyze his zeal to keep all the commandments, nor yet placing both feet in the world of the living, since he has weaned himself from secular ambitions—a man who remains more insensate than the dead themselves to everything that is found on examination to be living for the flesh, but instinct with life and energy and strength in the achievements of virtue, which are the sure marks of the spiritual life-then look to that man for the rule of your life; let him be the leading light of your course of devotion, as the constellations that never set are to the pilot; imitate his youth and his gray hairs: or, rather, imitate the old man and the stripling who are joined in him; for even now in his declining years, time has not blunted the keen activity of his soul, nor was his youth active in the sphere of youth’s well-known employments; in both seasons of life he has shown a wonderful combination of opposites, or rather an exchange of the peculiar qualities of each; for in age he shows, in the direction of the good, a young man’s energy, while, in the hours of youth, in the direction of evil, his passions were powerless.

    If you wish to know what were the passions of that glorious youth of his, you will have for your imitation the intensity and glow of his godlike love of wisdom, which grew with him from his childhood, and has continued with him into his old age. But if you cannot gaze upon him, as the weak-sighted cannot gaze upon the sun, at all events watch that band of holy men who are ranged beneath him, and who by the illumination of their lives are a model for this age. God has placed them as a beacon for us who live around; many among them have been young men there in their prime, and have grown gray in the unbroken practice of continence and temperance; they were old in reasonableness before their time, and in character outstripped their years.

    —Saint Gregory of Nyssa, On Virginity

  • Once they asked an elder, ‘how can we find God?’ He said by fasting, or deeds, or vigil, or mercy–all of them–but must be mixed with discernment. Many have persecuted their body without discernment and have gained nothing.

    Fr. Mina Dimitri

  • HESITATION

    Hesitation is a psychological disease or a weakness in the
    personality.

    St. James, the Apostle, says, “He is a double-minded man,
    unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:8).

    The one who hesitates might say I am thinking and studying.
    But there is a big difference between thinking in depth and
    being hesitant.

    There is a difference between the one who studies in depth and the one who, after deciding on one thing, changes his mind to another then goes back to the first one and leaves it later on, without settling on any.

    Maybe hesitation is due to fear and fear has its reasons. It
    could be the fear of failure or acting wrongly that is causing
    hesitation. It could be fear because of weakness and
    incapability, or the fear of results and responsibility. It could
    also be the fear of choosing badly and more than one solution is being offered.

    As one in cross-roads, afraid of choosing a road that gets him lost!

    Hesitation could also be due to lack of self-confidence.
    Maybe the hesitant is one who is not used to depend on himself and has no self-confidence.

    Therefore, he does not trust his thinking, his decision or his
    good choice. He also does not trust his capability. He has no
    experience to trust in himself. Maybe he lacks the knowledge
    to trust in himself. He is the image of a man.

    The reason for hesitation could also be for lack in courage and valour.

    He is unable to make a decision. Every time he progresses, his courage fails him. Usually, his will would be weak. Whenever he decides on a matter, he finds that everything looks the same and fails to choose one. He is not sure of the results and maybe of the means also.

    Hesitation causes confusion, maybe due to lack of
    understanding.

    He may have two matters, both are good. But which one is
    better? Or both are bad, but which one is less bad? Or maybe
    he is faced with a matter that he does not know if it is good or
    bad? The vision is blurred.

    The reason for hesitation could also be due to many advisers
    and consultants.

    He who has one adviser finds it easy to take one path. As for
    the one who asks many, there is a chance each of them leads
    him to a way different from the other, or gives him advice that
    contradicts that of another. Therefore, he stands hesitantly
    between contradicting advice, not knowing which is better.

    Contradictory readings could also be the cause of his confused thinking

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Words of Spiritual Benefit Vol. IV

  • Our first intuitions are the true ones. What I thought of so many things in my first youth seems to me increasingly right, and after so many detours and distractions, I now come back to it, aggrieved that I could have erected my existence on the ruin of those revelations.

    —Emil Cioran, The Trouble with Being Born