I, as a healing presence, walk with other in their pain and in their joy. I don’t take on their suffering in a futile effort to make them feel better. It doesn’t work.

Empathy provides energy to others because it makes them aware that we understand their suffering and don’t judge, condemn, or try to fix their problems. Sympathy, by contrast, takes on the feelings and pain of others in an effort to identify with their plight. (Sympathy here is used in its current cultural context. Linguistically, sympathy can connote compassion, but it generally means non-compassion in today’s world.)

A person who is a healing presence to another person provides empathy in abundance without accepting or expressing sympathy. Sympathy for another person simply magnifies the problem. Sympathy is codependence and pride in disguise. If someone else is feeling depressed, it doesn’t do him or her any good if I become sympathetic and take on the depressed feelings. Other people need hope and strength, not another depressed person to pull them deeper into darkness.

—Albert S. Rossi, Becoming a Healing Presence