Imminent death sharpens Markel’s self-understanding, before God and the world. He acutely perceives the fall of humanity and his own particular place within this total picture. In this, Markel also perceives the deep interconnectivity of all people and things. The dividing line between himself and “the other” is being erased. In this way, his perception of his deep fallenness brings him neither maudlin wailing, nor pathos, nor self-loathing. Instead he experiences joy, compassion, and love. Having come to this awareness, he can’t comprehend how he ever lost his temper with anyone.

How to Be a Sinner
Peter Bouteneff