Category: ANGER

  • I have all the defects of other people and yet everything they do seems to me inconceivable.

    The Trouble With Being Born
    Emil Cioran

  • Imminent death sharpens Markel’s self-understanding, before God and the world. He acutely perceives the fall of humanity and his own particular place within this total picture. In this, Markel also perceives the deep interconnectivity of all people and things. The dividing line between himself and “the other” is being erased. In this way, his perception of his deep fallenness brings him neither maudlin wailing, nor pathos, nor self-loathing. Instead he experiences joy, compassion, and love. Having come to this awareness, he can’t comprehend how he ever lost his temper with anyone.

    How to Be a Sinner
    Peter Bouteneff

  • Better that it create in me a sense of my own responsibility before the world, which can lead me through faith in God into holiness of life, peace of soul, and joy of heart. Dostoevsky captures this concept in The Brothers Karamazov, when the Elder Zosima recounts a conversation between his dying brother Markel and his mother: “[ I] tell you, dear mother, that each of us is guilty in everything before everyone, and I most of all.” . . . “How can it be . . . that you are the most guilty before everyone? There are murderers and robbers, and how have you managed to sin so that you should accuse yourself most of all?” “Dear mother, heart of my heart . . . you must know that verily each of us is guilty before everyone, for everyone and everything! I do not know how to explain it to you, but I feel it so strongly that it pains me. And how could we have lived before, getting angry, and not knowing anything?” Thus he awoke every day with more and more tenderness, rejoicing and all atremble with love.

    How to Be a Sinner
    Peter Bouteneff

  • The mistake might have taken one second, perhaps when we impulsively press “send” on a really bad e-mail. It might have taken years of festering in a toxic relationship. But suddenly we realize that we have totally blundered, and are filled with regret. Such failures can lead us into vain replayings of our mental tape-loops, about how stupid I sounded when I made that remark about my colleague. But compunction over our serious errors can sometimes serve as a promising lead-in to a more thorough and constructive inventory of our lives.

    How to Be a Sinner
    Peter Bouteneff

  • He remained constantly with God in silence, ever ready to repel the surges of both sensuality and anger.

    The Life of Saint John Chrysostom
    On the Vanity of Riches

  • When we see a person who has committed vicious sins and crimes escaping with impunity, we react with indignation. We want to see that person called to account and punished, and feel angry that this has not happened.  But at such moments we should reflect on our own actions; indeed we should turn that sense of indignation inward against ourselves.  Each of us should ask: “How many sins have I committed against others, when I have escaped with impunity?” There are, no doubt, many examples in all our cases. Recognizing this fact will cause our anger against others to melt away. More importantly, it will make us turn to God and ask forgiveness of these sins. Yet there is perhaps a difference between our own sins and the sins which we notice in others. Our own sins are probably quite subtle and inconspicuous, whereas the sins of others are obvious and gross. Should we, therefore, regard our own sins as less important or die? On the contrary, we should realize that subtle sins are frequently the most harmful. Obvious sins, such as robber and violence, are easily recognized, and so can often be guarded against by physical means. The more subtle sins, such as lying and slander and power-mongering are frequently hard to spot, and so difficult to prevent.

    On Living Simply
    St. John Chrysostom

  • Do you cherish any resentment or hatred towards another, to whom you refuse to be reconciled?

    …

    Is there some injustice which you refuse to forgive, some charge which you refuse to pay, some wrong which you refuse to confess?

    Are you allowing something yourself which you would be the first to condemn in others, but which you argue may be permitted in your own case, because of certain reasons with which you attempt to smother the remonstrances of conscience?

    The Gift of Suffering
    by F.B. Meyer

  • But, what if it is impossible to live peaceably with everybody?

    * Do not be the cause of the controversy.

    Be the crucified not the crucifier. You may face troubles from others, but do not be the beginner of evil. Moreover, do not be over-sensitive with regard to the faults of others.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit

  • The gentle does not get angry for every cause.

    If he gets angry, it is for something serious, and often for God’s sake. His anger is not for his own sake, for his own dignity, nor for his own rights as others do.

    If he gets angry, he does not become furious or nervous. His anger is merely an expression of his objection and dissatisfaction. He is usually calm; does not easily get upset, nor flame with rage.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit

  • The gentle person is always cheerful, and never frowns at anyone.

    His smile is sweet and loved by everyone, and his features are nice giving comfort to whoever looks at him. In his calmness he cannot rebuke or blame, nor can he act with excitedness or harshness, nor can he change the tone of his voice when rebuking someone.

    Even if mistreated, the gentle will not grumble, get bored, or complain.

    He often finds excuses for others, justifies their conduct, and thinks no evil. He never speaks about the offences against him, as if nothing has happened. He does not even feel sad within, and if he is provoked his anger will soon clear away and not turn into malice.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit