Category: DISCERNMENT

  • From the beginning, two inner voices have been speaking to me: one saying, “Henri, be sure you make it on your own. Be sure you become an independent person. Be sure I can be proud of you,” and another voice saying, “Henri, whatever you are going to do, even if you don’t do anything very interesting in the eyes of the world, be sure you stay close to the heart of Jesus; be sure you stay close to the love of God.”

    —Henri Nouwen, Discernment: Reading the Signs of Daily Life

  • This, also, I am ever urging, and shall not cease to urge, that you give attention, not only to the words spoken, but that also, when at home in your house, you exercise yourselves constantly in reading the Divine Scriptures. This, also, I have never ceased to press upon those who come to me privately. Let not any one say to me that these exhortations are vain and irrelevant, for “I am constantly busy in the courts,” (suppose him to say;) “I am discharging public duties; I am engaged in some art or handiwork; I have a wife; I am bringing up my children; I have to manage a household; I am full of worldly business; it is not for me to read the Scriptures, but for those who have bid adieu to the world, for those who dwell on the summit of the hills; those who constantly lead a secluded life.” What dost thou say, O man? Is it not for thee to attend to the Scriptures, because thou art involved in numerous cares? It is thy duty even more than theirs, for they do not so much need the aid to be derived from the Holy Scriptures as they do who are engaged in much business. For those who lead a solitary life, who are free from business and from the anxiety arising from business, who have pitched their tent in the wilderness, and have no communion with any one, but who meditate at leisure on wisdom, in that peace that springs from repose—they, like those who lie in the harbour, enjoy abundant security. But ourselves, who, as it were, are tossed in the midst of the sea, cannot avoid many failings, we ever stand in need of the immediate and constant comfort of the Scriptures. They rest far from the strife, and, therefore, escape many wounds; but you stand perpetually in the array of battle, and constantly are liable to be wounded: on this account, you have more need of the healing remedies. For, suppose, a wife provokes, a son causes grief, a slave excites to anger, an enemy plots against us, a friend is envious, a neighbour is insolent, a fellow-soldier causes us to stumble—or often, perhaps, a judge threatens us, poverty pains us, or loss of property causes us trouble, or prosperity puffs us up, or misfortune overthrows us;—there are surround us on all sides many causes and occasions of anger, many of anxiety, many of dejection or grief, many of vanity or pride; from all quarters, weapons are pointed at us. Therefore it is that there is need continually of the whole armour of the Scriptures.

    —St John Chrysostom, On Wealth and Poverty

  • No one tells you anything? No one communicates anything to you? Bless the Lord! He prevents your interior from cluttering, and covers problems. Love with gratitude those carry your worries for you. Aid them with your smiling docility. Accept your “carefree state.“ God has established you in solitude, he himself to be your sole worry. It is His will that He be the only bread of your soul. Do not consent to strain your ears, not even to the “gossip” of the community. Only pray for those who are in difficulty; exhort them, if the opportunity presents itself, to love the cross of Christ. Human consolations do nothing but weaken souls. Do not easily speak or receive things in confidence. Do you think that someone else will understand better than Jesus?

    A Carthusian

  • If I have the feeling that I am applying boundaries in an improper way, I ought to open the doors once again, because boundaries preserve relationships, and not destroy them.

    —H.E. Metropolitan Youssef, How to Build Boundaries

    Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house,

    Lest he become weary of you and hate you.

    Proverbs 25:17 (NKJV)

  • When you experience a great need for human affection, you have to ask yourself whether the circumstances surrounding you and the people you are with are truly where God wants you to be.  Whatever you are doing—watching a movie, writing a book, giving a presentation, eating, or sleeping—you have to stay in God’s presence.

    If you feel a great loneliness and a deep longing for human contact, you have to be extremely discerning.  Ask yourself whether this situation is truly God-given. Because where God wants you to be, God holds you safe and gives you peace, even when there is pain.

    —Henri Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom

  • You might find comfort in releasing what is inside you through criticism; then you hurt the feelings of others. But the noble one would not do this.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Words of Spiritual Benefit Vol. IV

  • To Abba Pambo, who asked him, “What ought I to do?”  the old man said: “Do not trust in your own righteousness, do not worry about the past, but control your tongue and your stomach.”

    The Way of the Heart: The Spirituality of the Desert Fathers and Mothers
    Henri Nouwen

  • And beware you do not blindly insist that things must work out according to what you consider to be right and good. God sometimes does permit such blind insistence to be followed by the fulfilment of our ardent desires. This always leads to misery and disaster (intended to open our eyes on our folly), and happens particularly often when our desires are founded on wild passions.

    Letters of Elder Macarius of Optina

  • After a careful study of your disposition, which life has encouraged you to undertake, you have at last come to see that you have never loved; nor do you know or understand anything about love.

    Letters of Elder Macarius of Optina

  • “When harmed, insulted or persecuted by someone, do not think of the present but wait for the future, and you will find he has brought you much good, not only in this life but also in the life to come.”

    St. Mark the Ascetic