“If you examine your life well, you will find many instances when God showed His unmistakable mercy to you. Trouble was brewing, but it passed you by for some reason. God delivered you. Acknowledge these and thank God, Who loves you.”
—St. Theophan the Recluse
Category: GRACE
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If you are suffering from a trial, which you are going through because of [your] upbringing and education, and if you endure this suffering with your true self and you expose it to the light of the grace of Christ, then Scripture says to you, “That you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”(James 1:4) The following will take place: your true self will grow and become complete and lacking nothing, through this suffering.
As for the grumbling soul, which is not joyful, but is always complaining about its upbringing in such a home, it will neither grow nor be healed.
—H.E. Metropolitan Youssef, How to Develop Your Personality
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Keep in mind one thing that’s very important, controlling the tongue cannot happen without asking the grace of God. Sometimes people say, You know what, I held my tongue, but I couldn’t. Well, of course, when you control yourself and your feelings and you don’t offer them to God, you will only be able to do it in a natural way, which only would last you for a small part of time. But this is not the Christian way of controlling. The Christian way of controlling is to lift all our pain and suffering to the Lord that he may use his suffering to transform us and transform our community and transform people around us.
—Fr. Mina Dimitri
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If we have persons in our environment who cause our inborn passions to flare up in an obvious way, it can be a blessing for us. This disturbance, like the angel’s troubling of the water in the pool of Bethesda (Jn. 5: 2-9), can send us into the pool of God’s mercy for help. Without such trouble we might not have stepped in and been healed.
—Dee Pennock, God’s Path to Sanity
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“Sometimes the annoyances that make you long for solitude are better for producing humility than the most complete solitude could be.”
—François Fénelon, The Seeking Heart
“In constant intercourse with other people we can sooner come to see our defects than we should in solitude.”
“The thing that annoys you about others is a reflection of you.”
—Maria Stenvinkel, 7 Things You Need to Know to Live Your Best Life and Make a Better World
“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.”
—Hermann Hesse
Remember that it is not he who reviles you or strikes you, who insults you, but it is your opinion about these things as being insulting. When then a man irritates you, you must know that it is your own opinion which has irritated you. Therefore especially try not to be carried away by the appearance. For if you once gain time and delay, you will more easily master yourself.
Epictetus, Enchiridion
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
—Carl Jung
“We often look out to other people – they’re difficult, they’re rude, they’re arrogant, they’re…I can’t deal with that person, look at how bad they are. – but turn it around, let it become a mirror. Is that, in fact, myself? Is it myself?”
—Fr. Daniel Fanous, Dealing with Difficult People
“When I’m quiet, everyone is happy at home. Why? Maybe I’m the one that is causing all the turmoil.”
—Fr. Paul Girguis
“Some of us at work, we’re very nice. At church, we’re loved by all. But the people in our house cringe when the garage door opens and they know we’re coming home.”
—Fr. Anthony Messeh
Correct yourself of your faults and hold fast to piety. Commit your conscience, your life, and deeds unto God, Who knows our hearts. However, look upon yourself impartially. Are you not indeed difficult in your character, especially to those of your household? Perhaps you are morose, unkind, unsociable, taciturn. Expand your heart for sociability and kindness, though not to over-indulgence and connivance; be gentle, not provoking, calm in reproof.
—St. John of Kronstadt, My Life in Christ -
These angers are crippling, like a fit when they happen, and then, when they are over, haunting me with remorse. Those who know me well and love me have come to accept them as part of me; yet I know they are unacceptable.
—May Sarton, Journal of a Solitude -
For the humble, the severity of the offense and the existence of an apology are extraneous factors in terms of one’s willingness to forgive. This new perspective on forgiveness offers freedom (a favorite theme of Dostoevsky) in that the one offended has the power to forgive in each and every circumstance and is not constrained by such factors as the severity of the offense or the presence of an apology. It is a freedom based on knowing who we are, what God has done for us, and what we desire to give Him in return. Always aware of the ten thousand talents that we owe God, always aware that He has forgiven us with His grace and loving kindness, always aware that all of us will stand together one day before our Maker, we come to understand what ultimately matters is not so much what was said to us or done to us, but our faithfulness to Christ’s love, our imitation of His forgiveness, and our humility before the weaknesses of others.
—Fr. Alexis (Trader), Less Injustice or More Humility: Two Perspectives on Forgiveness -
“To grieve excessively over one’s sins and to become despondent is a sign not of humility, but of pride. We must feel contrition and regret for offending the Lord with our sins, ask His pardon and try not to repeat them.
—Abbot Nikon Vorobiev
“But do not be troubled or sad. The Lord sometimes allows people who are devoted to Him to fall into such dreadful vices; and this is in order to prevent them from falling into a still greater sin–pride. Your temptation will pass and you will spend the remaining days of your life in humility. Only do not forget your sin.”
—St. Seraphim of Sarov
How could I fall into something like that? How could I hurt God’s loving heart? How could I disloyally betray God who has done me good all my life? How could I defile the heart that has been cleansed in baptism and which Christ cleansed by His Blood? How? How could I fall from the high tower in which I was? How could I, a son of God, live as the children of the world and as a defilement of the whole earth? How could I anger God’s heart? How could I grieve the Holy Spirit who dwells in me? How could I defile myself and make myself unclean? How? Indeed the sin has been forgiven, but how could I have done that?
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Before the Just Judge
Sometimes we hear many people say the following statement: “I have confessed, and the priest read the absolution and said to me, ‘That is it, God is not upset with you,’ but I am not able to forgive myself.” The statement,
“I am not able to forgive myself,” means that the ideal self is pressuring the true self, saying to it,
“Even if God forgave you, I will not forgive you.” And so, the person is tormented because he cannot forgive himself. He cannot actually accept the gift of remission and forgiveness from the hand of God, because the ideal self says to the true self that it is not worthy of forgiveness and remission. And the struggle continues, because the ideal self continually attacks the true self. But if it [i.e. the ideal self] accepts it with its weakness and helplessness, then remission is offered it from the hand of Christ, and through the Holy Mysteries, on the basis of them being a healing and growth for the soul, so the true self grows from glory to glory, till it becomes conformed to the image of His Son.
—H.E. Metropolitan Youssef, How to Develop Your Personality
If you happen to be wounded by succumbing to some sin through weakness, or through the faulty nature of your character (I mean here pardonable sins: an unfitting word has slipped out, you lost your temper, a bad thought flashed in your head, an unfitting desire flared up, and so on), do not lose heart and fall into sense-less turmoil. Above all do not dwell on yourself, do not say: “How could I be such as to allow and suffer it?” This is a cry of proud self-opinion. Humble yourself and, raising your eyes to the Lord, say and feel: “What else could be expected of me, O Lord, weak and faulty as I am.” Thereupon give thanks to Him that the thing has gone no further, saying: “If it were not for Thy boundless mercy, O Lord, I would not have stopped at that, but would certainly have fallen into something much worse.”
With this feeling and consciousness of yourself you must not, however, admit the self-indulgent and heedless thought that since you are what you are, you have as it were a right to behave wrongly. No, in spite of the fact that you are weak and faulty, you are accounted guilty for all the wrong things you do. For since you possess a will, all that comes forth from you is subject to it, and so everything good is counted in your favour and everything bad—to your detriment. Therefore, conscious of your general wickedness, admit yourself guilty also in the particular wicked-ness, into which you have fallen at the present moment. Judge and condemn yourself, and only, yourself; do not look around, seeking on whom you could put the blame. Neither the people around you nor the circumstances are guilty of your sin. Your bad will alone is to blame. So blame yourself.
—Lorenzo Scupoli, Unseen Warfare
“Remember your sin in order to learn from it, not to strand yourself in grief—Satan wants you in this snare. Satan wants you to perpetually ask yourself, how could I have done such a thing?
Move forward.”
—John Khalil
If, at confession, you have been pardoned a sin committed in the past, it is unnecessary to mention it again. But it may sometimes be useful to ponder it, so that your repentance should not be dulled. See, however, that this does-not lead to depression. If it should, drop it at once.
SO GOOD QUOTES 