“To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves.”
—Will Durant
Category: HUMILITY
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When you are at peace and not embattled, then humble yourself even more—lest some alien joy arising [in us] we boast and are delivered into battle. For, on account of our frailty, God often does not permit us to be embattled often—lest we be lost.
—Abba Bessarion
Give Me a Word: The Alphabetical Sayings of the Desert Fathers -
A chaste person is too sensitive to request, and if given he is too shy to receive. Unlike this is the unchaste person who may ask for something not his right to have, as if it were a right usurped from him! Even if given he may ask for more seeing it so little. Such are those who ask God for things they consider it their right to have!! Such was the lost son who asked his father for his portion of inheritance (Lk 15).
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit -
A chaste person’s look is not lustful but bashful.
This does not apply only to sex, but even to respect towards elders. The son dares not look boldly to his father but rather with great reverence, not even lifting up his eyes towards him as if in challenge. It is said that St. Abba Pigimi lived for 18 years in the company of holy elders in the monastery, and he never looked any of them fully in the face.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit
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The gentle is usually bashful; he cannot look at anyone fully in the face.
He does not examine one’s features to know his inner feelings or the truth of his words. If he is fought with this, he will say to himself: It is not my business. Let me mind my own business! He is by nature gentle, and is not inclined to examine others’ actions.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit
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In Ecclesiastes, he says:
I have seen everything in my days of vanity: there is a just man who perishes in his righteousness, and there is a wicked man who prolongs life in his wickedness. Do not be overly righteous, nor be overly wise: why should you destroy yourself? Do not be overly wicked, nor be foolish: why should you die before your time? It is good that you grasp this, and also not remove your hand from the other; for he who fears God will escape them all.
Here, by the statement “Do not be overly righteous,” he means that you should accept yourself, with your weakness and helplessness, and do not let the ideal self reject the true self, appearing to be a righteous self at all time, and do not use worldly, self-centered wisdom, with which you deceive yourself and believe that you are overly righteous.
—H.E. Metropolitan Youssef, How to Develop Your Personality
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Do good and forget about it. Don’t seek any reward or praise for it. Don’t expect that the one to whom you have done a good turn will repay you in the same way or give you the same treatment. One thing is sure which is that you have not done good with some expectation of a reward! When you do good just because you love to do good and because you cannot help doing good, then you can be sure that you have done good. Let goodness be a character trait in you. Let it be something spontaneous, which requires no effort just like breathing. If you forget it, God will remind you, here and in eternity. But if you recall it, even if it is only inside you, then you might well lose it…
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Experiences in Life
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Many take actions that they later on regret, either due to its bad results or because their conscience troubles them and turns against them. It could also be that they fail to put matters back to the way they were before taking these wrong actions.
The regret increases more as the person realises the horror of his sin and the greatness of his guilt, just like Judas, and as Cain said, “My punishment is greater than I can bear.” (Gen. 4:13).
The regret also increases when one realises that it is of no use. For example, a word is said and nobody can get it back, or take it out of the ears of those who heard it, no matter how the person apologises.
Wrong deeds that one regrets could be the result of rashness, hastiness and lack of consideration. It could also be due to lack of consultation before taking such action. The terrible and wrong deed could also be the outcome of anger, inner revolution, loss of self-control, ignoring the results or not giving them a thought completely.
As one regrets what he does hastily and without consultation, he may also regret giving in to his desires and passions, without putting God before him and without considering his dignity as an image of God.
One may also regret not taking the future into account when he acted carelessly in a light, and lazy manner.
Nevertheless, regret has its benefit, as it leads one to repentance, correcting his lifestyle. It also has another benefit, as it leads one to a life of humility and contrition. That is what happened with the prophet David, who every night, drenched his couch with his tears. It also happened to St. Paul, the Apostle, who says, “… I am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the Church of God.” (1 Cor. 15:9).
Regret could be of benefit here, but in eternity it turns into torment. There wouldn’t be repentance, as the time of repentance would be over, “… and the door was shut …” as in the parable of the foolish virgins who heard the Lord saying, “I do not know you.” (Matt. 25:10). The regret here turned into “.. weeping and gnashing of teeth.” (Matt. 25:30).
Struggle then while you are on earth before it is too late when regret wouldn’t be of benefit. That is the share of those who do not labour now, as the poet says:
If you did not sow and watched a reaper –
You shall regret for wasting the time of sowing.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Words of Spiritual Benefit Vol. IV -
“The Lord gave, the Lord hath taken away; as it seemed good unto the Lord even so has it come to pass, blessed be the name of the Lord forever.” Let this speech be our utterance also over each event which befalls us, whether it be loss of property, or infirmity of body, or insult, or false accusation, or any other form of evil that happens to mankind, let us say these words:
“The Lord gave, the Lord hath taken away; as it seemed good to the Lord so has it come to pass; blessed be the name of the Lord forever.”
If we practice this spiritual wisdom, we shall never experience any evil, even if we undergo countless sufferings, but the gain will be greater than the loss, the good will exceed the evil.
By these words you will cause God to be merciful to you, and will defend yourself against the tyranny of Satan. For as soon as your tongue has uttered these words, immediately the devil flees from you. And when he has hastened away, the cloud of dejection also is dispelled and the thoughts which afflict us take to flight, hurrying off in company with him. And in addition to all this you will win all manner of blessings both here and in Heaven. And you have a convincing example in the case of Job and of the apostle, who having for God’s sake despised the troubles of this world, obtained the everlasting blessings. Let us then be trustful and in all things which befall us let us rejoice and give thanks to the merciful God, that we may pass through this present life with serenity and obtain the blessings to come, by the grace and lovingkindness of our Lord Jesus Christ to Whom be glory, honor and might always, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Saint John Chrysostom
On the Two Paralytics in the Gospels
Homilies on Profitable Subjects
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