• But, what if it is impossible to live peaceably with everybody?

    * Do not be the cause of the controversy.

    Be the crucified not the crucifier. You may face troubles from others, but do not be the beginner of evil. Moreover, do not be over-sensitive with regard to the faults of others.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit

  • * Do not require others to be ideal, but accept them as they are, not as they ought to be.

    We accept nature as it is: the seasons whether rainy, stormy or hot, we do not ask nature to change itself. Let us do the same with the others. Not all of them are righteous and good. So many have weaknesses or certain dominating temperament. People are of different types, some of which are troublesome. So, be like a spectator, not influenced by their behavior, and treat them wisely according to their nature.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit

  • Sin makes man afraid of being exposed and his sin revealed before the others. And he fears the consequences of sin: the punishment inflicted by the society or the law, and he fears God and His judgment.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit

  • A chaste person is too sensitive to request, and if given he is too shy to receive. Unlike this is the unchaste person who may ask for something not his right to have, as if it were a right usurped from him! Even if given he may ask for more seeing it so little. Such are those who ask God for things they consider it their right to have!! Such was the lost son who asked his father for his portion of inheritance (Lk 15).

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit

  • A chaste person’s look is not lustful but bashful.

    This does not apply only to sex, but even to respect towards elders. The son dares not look boldly to his father but rather with great reverence, not even lifting up his eyes towards him as if in challenge. It is said that St. Abba Pigimi lived for 18 years in the company of holy elders in the monastery, and he never looked any of them fully in the face.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit

  • The woman should not cause offense with her beauty and femininity, nor the man with his temptations, emotions, and promises, or through extending friendship and familiarity. These usually start innocent, in fact or in appearance, then end the opposite way.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit

  • Fair criticism is innocent and objective. It seeks only the truth, judges things soundly and mentions the good points before other points which he rejects, thus giving everyone his right. He does not search people’s intentions and inner purposes, which God alone knows.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit

  • A person with a chaste tongue is always objective in his arguments and never broaches personal matters. His speech is reasonable and logical. He does not ascribe ignorance or lack of understanding to the other party, nor expose these qualities in him, but he rather concentrates on the issue subject of discussion.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit

  • A chaste tongue cannot utter impolite or rude words.

    It cannot for instance utter foul sexual words, nor tell sexual stories or jokes, nor even listen to them from others. A person with a chaste tongue can never sing indecent songs, but rather is ashamed of uttering them even at home when alone.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit

  • Therefore, whoever uses hurting or hard words like stones cast on others is not a person of chaste tongue. The chaste tongue does not defame or expose anyone, because it is a polite and decent tongue that weighs every word before uttering it.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Fruits of the Spirit