If the fault of the estrangement lies with us, the burden of confession should rest upon us also. To go to our friend with sincere penitence is no more than our duty. Whether the result is successful or not, it will mean a blessing for our own soul. Humility brings its own reward, for it brings God into one’s life. Even if we have cause to suspect that the offended brother will not receive us kindly, still such reparation as we can make is at least the gate to reconciliation. It may be too late, but confession will lighten the burden on our own heart. Our brother may be so offended that he is harder to be won than a strong city, but he is far more worth winning; and even if the effort is unsuccessful, it is better than the cowardice that suffers a bloodless defeat.

…

He must show the other his fault gently and generously, not parading his forgiveness like a virtue, but as if the favor were on his side—as it is.

The Art of Being a Good Friend
Hugh Black