Category: ANGER

  • Humility is not losing your true personhood. It is losing the false self that is exhausting you.

    Fr. Elijah Estafanous

  • As long as Fr. Faltaous had even the slightest sense that there was a monk who was upset with him, or someone who had some hard feelings towards him, or even if he felt that he had upset anyone in any way, he would instantly go to apologize to him – before the setting of the sun.

    The Star of the Sheheet Desert
    Fr. Faltaous El Souriany

  • I’ve seen lives changed on the sick bed, monsters turn into babies on the sick bed—monsters—people that no one can talk to, and they’re babies, holding the hands of their loved ones, saying, “Forgive me, I know I was difficult. I’m sorry—you endured a lot from me. I caused you a lot of pain, and I was a monster, and I was a terrible person, and I hope God can forgive me.”

    Fr. Paul Girguis

  • Repeatedly dwelling upon something that has offended us, say the saints, will greatly increase our anger, and can produce a despondency that’s very hard to overcome. The ways of those who preserve the recollection of wrongs are towards death, says Scripture (Prov. 12: 28 LXX).

    —Dee Pennock, God’s Path to Sanity

  • For he who is angry on account of the things which have been done to him, and demands satisfaction would not be able to obtain the praise of forbearance; but when a man dismisses the consideration of all past evils, although they are many and painful, but is compelled to take steps for self-defense from fear of the future and by way of providing for his own security, no one would deprive him of the rewards of moderation. 

    Nevertheless, David did not act even thus, but found a novel and strange form of moral wisdom. And neither the remembrance of things past, nor the fear of things to come, nor the instigation of the captain, nor the solitude of the place, nor the facility for slaying, nor anything else incited him to kill; but he spared the man who was his enemy and had given him pain, just as if he was some benefactor and had done him much good. What kind of indulgence then shall we have if we are mindful of past transgressions and avenge ourselves on those who have given us pain, whereas that innocent man who had undergone such great sufferings and expected more and worse evils to befall him in consequence of saving his enemy, is seen to spare him, so as to prefer incurring danger himself and to live in fear and trembling, rather than put to a just death the man who would cause him endless troubles?

    His moral wisdom then we may perceive, not only from the fact that he did not slay Saul when there was so strong a compulsion, but also that he did not utter an irreverent word against him, although he who was insulted would not have heard him. Yet we often speak evil of friends when they are absent, he on the contrary not even of the enemy who had done him such great wrong. His moral wisdom then we may perceive from these things, but his lovingkindness and tender care from what he did after these things. For when he had cut off the fringe of Saul’s garment and had taken away the bottle of water, he withdrew afar off and stood and shouted and exhibited these things to him whose life he had preserved, doing so not with a view to display and ostentation, but desiring to convince him by his deeds that he suspected him without a cause as his enemy, and aiming therefore at winning him into friendship. Nevertheless, when he had even thus failed to persuade him, and could have laid hands on him, he again chose rather to be an exile from his country and to sojourn in a strange land and suffer distress every day in procuring necessary food than to remain at home and vex his adversary. What spirit could be kinder than his? He was indeed justified in saying, “Lord remember David and all his meekness” (Ps. 131:1).

    —Saint John Chrysostom, If Thine Enemy Hunger, Feed Him
    Homilies on Profitable Subjects

  • One of the saints said, “Those who come closest to Christ achieve the greatest victories.” What does that mean? It means that if you’re generous, and kind, you’re giving, you might overcome anger inside your heart, you might overcome resentment, hatred, lack of forgiveness inside your heart.

    Fr. Mina Dimitri

  • We make a lot of contradicting statements that do not logically make sense. “I love everybody, but I don’t want to talk to this person.”

    Fr. Mini Dimitri

  • Is your love for friends and favoured ones: also firm? Or could any specific event make your heart change towards a love that you had for many years? That is what sometimes happens in a family which makes it collapse and separate after many years. It fails to hold fast against the water, even if it is not many waters.

    Does your love change because of a word that did not please your ears? Or a behaviour that annoyed you? Or the effect of others on you? Or for external circumstances, or financial reasons? Then the words of the Bible echo in your ears, “nevertheless, I have this against you, that you have left your first love.” (Rev. 2:4).

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Words of Spiritual Benefit Vol. IV

  • You might find comfort in releasing what is inside you through criticism; then you hurt the feelings of others. But the noble one would not do this.

    —H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Words of Spiritual Benefit Vol. IV

  • If you’re angry at somebody, if you’re bitter at somebody, prayer is the first step. Something mystical happens in prayer: the person you’re angry at, the person you’re annoyed at, when you start praying for them, God melts your heart. If you’re consistently praying for that person, when you approach that person, your demeanor is different, your mentality is different, you’re not looking at that person the same way.

    Fr. Timothy