HESITATION
Hesitation is a psychological disease or a weakness in the
personality.St. James, the Apostle, says, “He is a double-minded man,
unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:8).The one who hesitates might say I am thinking and studying.
But there is a big difference between thinking in depth and
being hesitant.There is a difference between the one who studies in depth and the one who, after deciding on one thing, changes his mind to another then goes back to the first one and leaves it later on, without settling on any.
Maybe hesitation is due to fear and fear has its reasons. It
could be the fear of failure or acting wrongly that is causing
hesitation. It could be fear because of weakness and
incapability, or the fear of results and responsibility. It could
also be the fear of choosing badly and more than one solution is being offered.As one in cross-roads, afraid of choosing a road that gets him lost!
Hesitation could also be due to lack of self-confidence.
Maybe the hesitant is one who is not used to depend on himself and has no self-confidence.Therefore, he does not trust his thinking, his decision or his
good choice. He also does not trust his capability. He has no
experience to trust in himself. Maybe he lacks the knowledge
to trust in himself. He is the image of a man.The reason for hesitation could also be for lack in courage and valour.
He is unable to make a decision. Every time he progresses, his courage fails him. Usually, his will would be weak. Whenever he decides on a matter, he finds that everything looks the same and fails to choose one. He is not sure of the results and maybe of the means also.
Hesitation causes confusion, maybe due to lack of
understanding.He may have two matters, both are good. But which one is
better? Or both are bad, but which one is less bad? Or maybe
he is faced with a matter that he does not know if it is good or
bad? The vision is blurred.The reason for hesitation could also be due to many advisers
and consultants.He who has one adviser finds it easy to take one path. As for
the one who asks many, there is a chance each of them leads
him to a way different from the other, or gives him advice that
contradicts that of another. Therefore, he stands hesitantly
between contradicting advice, not knowing which is better.Contradictory readings could also be the cause of his confused thinking
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Words of Spiritual Benefit Vol. IV
Category: DISCERNMENT
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Our first intuitions are the true ones. What I thought of so many things in my first youth seems to me increasingly right, and after so many detours and distractions, I now come back to it, aggrieved that I could have erected my existence on the ruin of those revelations.
—Emil Cioran, The Trouble with Being Born
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In our current age, there are some monks who have deviated in theological issues. Also, some monks are simple; they fall into faults without knowing I remember the first responsibility entrusted to me as a monk was caring for the library in the Syrian Monastery. At first, I coded the books, organized them, and read them as much as I could. In doing this, I would find inside the front cover of a book a curse and an anathema against anyone who removes it from the monastery or contradicts the book; however, the book is full of heresies and innovations. Probably, a person gave it as a gift to a monk, who thanked him for it and prayed for him, without knowing what is written inside this heretical book. Perhaps an unorthodox manuscript, or an incorrect icon, given as a gift, might be placed in the church, meanwhile, it is all wrong.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Monastic Treasures for All of Us -
Then, if the father [of confession] and guide deviates, one must not obey him, and his guidance must not be accepted. From this standpoint, the person ought to seek guidance, and at the same time, ought to be watchful”. He should ensure that his conscience is at peace with all the guidance he receives. And the father or guide should not be content with giving directions only, but also should convince and give proof of the teaching, through Scriptural verses or stories and sayings of the saints.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Come, Follow Me
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Such a father you may be discipled unto.
If such a person cannot be found, the confessant should look for a spiritual guide beside the father of confession. It is preferable that the father of confession be the guide, for the soul of the person is laid bare before him. However, if he did not possess this gift, or if his time were extremely tight, insufficient to guide the hundreds of confessants, in addition to his other responsibilities, then necessity demands that there should be [another as] a guide. [This latter] supports the confessant by his advice and encouragement, and reveals to him [the confessant] what is beyond his knowledge so that he does not walk in a daze.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Come, Follow Me
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The Scripture explained this matter in a verse which was repeated twice, within close proximity in the same Book, and this is: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”, A person may cling to this way which appears right, yet in it—and in his clinging [to it] — there is utmost harm to him. And perhaps this way which appears right to him is of the deception of the demons. On this point specifically, Abba Isaac and St. Evagrius have copious explanations, in that the one who clings to his thought, who directs himself according to his own will, may persuade himself that this thought is from God and that the Spirit is the One who inspired this thought in him!
11. How dangerous is the state of those who say that they receive their knowledge from God directly, and that they are discipled unto Christ directly. And therefore they refuse to be discipled unto people. At the same time, they cannot be sure whether the thought, which came to them, is from God or not! What is marvelous is that those who say such words are neither prophets nor one of the twelve. Nor can they say as Paul the Apostle said,
“For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you.”
17. There are perhaps many sources of the thought which you think is from God. It may be your own thought or your own inclination. It may be a thought settled in your subconscious from things you previously read and heard. And it may be a deception of the devil. You need to tarry and deliberate, to read the Scriptures, and to ask and seek guidance.
—H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Come, Follow Me
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You understand that many of our faults are voluntary in different degrees, though they may not be committed with a deliberate purpose of failing in our allegiance to God. One friend sometimes reproaches another for a fault not expressly intended to be offensive, and yet committed with the knowledge that it would be so. In the same way, God lays this sort of faults to our charge. They are voluntary, for although not done with an express intention, they are still committed freely and against a certain interior light of conscience, which should have caused us to hesitate and wait.
—François Fénelon, Spiritual Progress
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As the holy fathers say, when the intellect forgets the purpose of a religious observance, the outward practice of virtue loses its value. For whatever is done indiscriminately and without purpose is not only of no benefit – even though good in itself – but actually does harm. Conversely, what appears to be evil is really good if it is done for a godly purpose and accords with God’s will. The action of a man who goes into a brothel to rescue a prostitute from destruction is a case in point.
Hence it is clear that someone who occasionally shows compassion is not compassionate, and someone who occasionally practices self-control is not self-controlled.
—St John of Damaskos
SO GOOD QUOTES 