There has been implanted in man an instinct and a need that make him discontented until he finds contentment in God. At times we are forced to turn away from man and toward the infinite Father, unchanging, the same yesterday, today, and forever? This is the urgent, imperious need of man.
The Art of Being a Good Friend
Hugh Black
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The sickness of heart that is the lot of all, the loneliness that not even the voice of a friend can dispel, and the grief that seems to stop the pulse of life itself find their final meaning in this compulsion toward the divine. We are sometimes driven out not knowing whither we go, not knowing the purpose of it, but only knowing through sheer necessity that here we have no abiding city, or home, or life, or love, and seeking a city, a home, a life, a love that has foundations.
The Art of Being a Good Friend
Hugh Black -
If the fault of the estrangement lies with us, the burden of confession should rest upon us also. To go to our friend with sincere penitence is no more than our duty. Whether the result is successful or not, it will mean a blessing for our own soul. Humility brings its own reward, for it brings God into one’s life. Even if we have cause to suspect that the offended brother will not receive us kindly, still such reparation as we can make is at least the gate to reconciliation. It may be too late, but confession will lighten the burden on our own heart. Our brother may be so offended that he is harder to be won than a strong city, but he is far more worth winning; and even if the effort is unsuccessful, it is better than the cowardice that suffers a bloodless defeat.
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He must show the other his fault gently and generously, not parading his forgiveness like a virtue, but as if the favor were on his side—as it is.
The Art of Being a Good Friend
Hugh Black -
The thoughtfulness of love will suggest the appropriate means, but some emphasis may rightly be given to the phrase in Christ’s counsel: “between thee and him alone.” Let there be an opportunity for a frank and private conversation. To appeal to an estranged friend in front of witnesses induces to special pleading, making the witnesses the jury, asking for a verdict on either side. And the result is that both are still convinced that they have right on their side and that they have been wronged.
The Art of Being a Good Friend
Hugh Black -
Love is the center of a circle that broadens out in ever-widening circumference.
Dante tells us in La Vita Nuova that the effect of his love for Beatrice was to open his heart to all and to sweeten all his life. He speaks of the surpassing virtue of her very salutation to him in the street. “When she appeared in any place, it seemed to me, by the hope of her excellent salutation, that there was no man mine enemy any longer; and such warmth of charity came upon me that most certainly in that moment I would have pardoned whomsoever had done me an injury; and if anyone should then have questioned me concerning any matter, I could only have said unto him ‘Love,’ with a countenance clothed in humbleness.” His love bred sweetness in his mind and took in everything within the blessed sweep of its range.
The Art of Being a Good Friend
Hugh Black -
Much of our dissension is due to misunderstanding that could be put right by a few honest words and a little open dealing. Human beings so often live at cross purposes with each other, when a frank word or a simple confession of wrong, almost a look or a gesture, would heal the division. Resentment grows through brooding over a fancied slight. Hearts harden themselves in silence, and, as time goes on, it becomes more difficult to break through the silence. Through our sinful separations, our selfish exclusiveness, and our resentful pride, there is a terrible waste of human friendship, a waste of power that might be used to bless all our lives. We let the sweetest souls we have met die without acknowledging our debt to them. We stand aside in haughty isolation until the open grave opens our sealed hearts too late. We let the chance of reconciliation pass until it is irrevocable.
The Art of Being a Good Friend
Hugh Black -
The strife-makers find in themselves, in their barren hearts and empty lives, their own appropriate curse. The blow they strike comes back upon them. Worse than the choleric temperament is the peevish, sullen nature. The one usually finds a speedy repentance for his hot and hasty mood; the other is a constant menace to friendship and acts like a perpetual irritant. The root of this temperament is selfishness, and it grows by what it feeds on.
When offenses do come, we may indeed use them as opportunities for growth in gracious ways, and thus turn them into blessings on the lives of both. To the offended, it may be an occasion for patience and forgiveness; to the offender, an occasion for humility and frank confession; and to both, a renewing of love less open to offense in the future.
The Art of Being a Good Friend
Hugh Black
SO GOOD QUOTES 